They call him Orange Man, a president whose every word triggers them into paroxysms of hysterical rage. Yet these enemies of freedom are no bigots. They label him a sexist akin to the religious death cult they champion; a baby-killer who would deny women their "reproductive right" to infanticide; he's all the evils unknown on their side. Doubters have merely to check with their pet media.

Who are these modern masters of hypocrisy? They're the legacy of the old Soviet Bloc, who, failing to defeat us on the battlefield, planted the seeds of internal rot. So brilliant has been its success that the Cultivators are now turning on each other; so complete has been their descent into lunacy that some of their own are being scared straight. A worried Russian president, in fact, insists that liberalism is harmful to the host, hoping to forestall the complete collapse of the disease.

The Dregs, known to Russia as "useful idiots", are those the state has divorced from the Good Book. Lacking absolute truth, their moral compass is a weather vane duck with spinning wings, blown about by the hot breath of that old serpent they'll never see. After all, no heaven equals no hell in the algebra of the left.

A certain "wealthy financier" laments that the president is dismantling the New World Order. Sensing his re-election, certain Middle East actors are making overtures of peace. Nor is an EMP attack likely, since the Illuminati need the internet. Time to relax? Not according to those who like to quote "at a time ye think not", when all seems normal and prosperous. The sudden absence of millions will likely crash a house-of-cards economy propped up by a rapidly withdrawing Restrainer. It's a crisis tailor-made for a man waiting in the wings, stage left, in The Twilight Zone.

(Accompanied by a photo of Rod Serling, not included here)