Ah! The ol' "God can do it cuz he's God" defense (I forgot the name of the TV Trope thing).
It's a very stupid argument.
@Titania
Exactly! I believe that The Bible shows two deities, the real one and the Demiurge. The Demiurge is Deity as described by powerful bigoted authoritarian people. When BibleGod is more "The Great Stalin In The Sky" rather than "The Loving Heavenly Parent", that's the phony man-made Demiurge.
I'd love to rewrite the Bible just to reinterpret everything and make it more in line with archeological and scientific fact as well was better values....
THE HEBREW TESTAMENT
* The Creation Story would have the Earth and life on it created after the Sun and Moon. "Let there be light!" would be The Big Bang.
* Adam & Eve would be strictly described as a metaphor of the human species as a whole and as a metaphorical androgyne that split in two instead of "woman made from man's rib".
* The "Fall of Man" would be about how humanity developed the ability to understand right & wrong but chose to do wrong, anyway.
* Noah's Ark would be about a local flood that inundated much of the known world. God would only be warning of it, not causing it. Only Noah and his family would listen to God, thus being saved.
* Sodom and Gomorrah would be similar. Also; The citizens of both towns strictly described as as greedy psychopaths who loved brutal violence as much as they did greed. If everyone is literally Ted Bundy then seeing them zoarched by a volcanic explosion wouldn't be so bad.
* The Exodus was about a labor dispute between a group of Hebrew workers and a new Pharaoh who wanted to restrict their religious expression. The plagues would be caused by the effects of the island of Santorini erupting and the Hebrews fled through the REED Sea. The Egyptians were so embarrassed that they didn't dare jot the events down in their records (which is exactly how real ancient Egyptians did things).
* The "Conquest of Canaan" was a social/religious revolution and not mass-genocide (but with a number of battles happening, anyway). BibleGod is technically a composite of the Canaanite Pantheon.
THE NAZARENE TESTAMENT
* Bethlehem would be a kibbutz-type settlement of Nazarene Essene lay people. Not a town or city.
* Deity induced parthenogenesis within Mary. Jesus was a parthenogenetic baby.
* "Demon-Possessed" people in the Gospels would be described as severely mentally ill.
* Lazarus and the Rabbi's daughter would be comatose and not dead.
* Instead of "The Jews", it would be "The Corrupt Temple Officials". Much will also be made of Jesus, his followers and The Nazarene Way's "Jewishness" and how The Nazarene Way is an optional Alternate Judaism that even Gentiles can follow.
* Jesus & Co. will be referred to by their Jewish names.
* When Jesus dies on the Cross, a solar eclipse happens as the Temple curtain's ripped in two (but none of the dead rising from graves stuff).
* Only epistles proven to be written by Paul will be used. Since they were letters from Paul, they would be mostly unchanged. However; The more bigoted parts might be either excised or reinterpreted while still retaining the message and spirit of the letters. Most of the bad stuff is in the spurious epistles, anyway. It will also be made clear that Paul does not supersede Jesus and that his letters are the opinions and interpretations of a Church Leader....not infallible "Gospel". Paul was a theologian and his opinions don't have to be followed to the letter.
* The Book of Revelation will be strictly stressed to be a metaphor and not literal in the slightest.
....and so on....
Basically; I'd try to clear things up and make it more plausible. Deity and the supernatural will still exist but be more of a hands-off thing and miraculous stuff would still mostly be plausible (like Deity inducing parthenogenesis in a young Jewish maiden engaged to a slightly-older but still youngish carpenter).
This NeoBible would be divided into The Hebrew and Nazarene Testaments (Not 'Old' and 'New'). Deity will be described as androgynous: The Father-Mother/Parent.
@Swede
Amen to that! My idea for a rebooted Bible would remedy that!
@Timjer
Also; It's likely that the Snap would be undone in the next movie, anyway. I mean; A whole bunch of famous, beloved superheroes just died, I doubt they're going to stay dead. They're not just going to have the bad guy win and leave it at that!
@InsultToRocks
Wouldn't be great if Squirrel Girl undid the Snap? LOL!