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28 comments
"Sacred Heart"
Or Scared Heart.
If merely touching yourself is enough to condemn you to eternal, infinite, never-ending torture, then the god that put that system in place is a horrific monster of equally endless proportions. In that case, Heaven would be just as bad as Hell, spending eternity under the boot of such a creature, and no matter what you do in life you'll end it up in a hell of one variety or another.
From this we can conclude that the only joy one will receive is that which you get while alive.
Thus, yes: touching yourself is worth an eternity in hell. QED.
Awww, they're worried about me. How sweet. I'm touched.
Now if they would only care as much about people BEFORE they die, that would be nice.
If merely touching yourself means hell, so does any other little thing. So, chances are you'll go there anyway, and it doesn't seem like the punishment is different for small and large offenses. So, might as well touch yourself, fornicate, etc. have fun while you can...
@Some Ape
Rubber Chicken was making a joke based on the old idea that masturbation affects your eyesight.
Being on the autism spectrum I don't usually get metaphors and sarcasm, but I managed to pick that one up OK. I must be getting used to FSTDT!
So, what I'm getting from this sign is, instead of touching myself, I should just hire someone else to tuch me instead. It's what Jesus would have wanted, right?
Is Touching Yourself Worth An Eternity In Hell?
...as opposed to say... touching little kids?! [/Cardinal Hell... er, I mean Pell]
@rubber chicken
My poor eyesight prevents me from reading that sign
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And it's the boxing gloves for you! X3
Come on folks, get real. This is a total fake and was made at the now defunct churchsigngenerator.com website.
Do intelligent people really still fall for this crap? I'd say no.
More from the same source. See the source at the bottom of the images. It has been photoshopped out in our image.
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@rubber chicken & 121:
Ohhhhhhhh
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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