Bro. Randy #fundie

Bro. Randy #fundie teens-4-christ.org

There are a lot of things you can learn from the modern, hollywood, romance style of dating:
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to live in disobedience to God's will
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to live with a sexually transmitted disease
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to stand at the wedding alter having a heart and/or body that is sexually impure
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be disqualified from whatever ministry God may have for you.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be a parent before you are ready or married.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to practice for divorce.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to have your heart torn asunder because you joined your heart to someone who was not God's will for you.
Need I continue? God has a plan for marriage and Hollywood's style of dating is not a part of it.

44 comments

old comment by Adrian

Why the fuck do they feel the need to blame Hollywood for dating. If anything, Hollywood romance movies usually have a happy end... Oh, wait! "Happy", I have identified the source of the problem....
Point 1: demonstrate that Babblegod exists. Then explain why someone should respect, obey or worship such a psychopathic asshole. Point2: not, the culprit here is your fucked up "abstinence only" sex ed programs Point 3: learn to spell, you idiot! Also explain how losing an useless flap of skin/being sexually experienced is a bad thing. See the arguments in the other thread to see how some life experience may help make smart choices when choosing a spouse (Oh, wait! You don't wan't people to be smart about that, or fundies would never get a chance to find a sl... I mean a bride) Point 4: you fuckwit, even the Catholic Church doesn't require its priests and monks to have been chaste before they took their vows!! Point 5: see point 2. Of course, no amount of sex ed can help those stupid or brainwashed enough to refuse to use proper contraception. Point 6: huh? If you're dating you aren't hitched yet. Breaking up, as messy and painful as it can get, isn't the same thing as divorce. And marrying while still "innocent" is the best way to get into a bad marriage, which will probably end up in the very divorce you claim to want to avoid... Point 7: arranged marriage much? No person or entity has the right to direct my life, and certainly not the Heavenly Asshole. Anyway, how is one supposed to determine Gawd's will? If you choose the predestination option, his will is absolute and the person you end up with will be the one he intended for you, even if you never got officially married (also doesn't mean that Gawd intended you to be happy with said person). And if you believe in free will, going through a ceremony doesn't automatically mean you've found the ideal/intended spouse. Thousand of people get married every day, and I've never heard of God suddenly interrupting a ceremony because it wasn't the pairing he had intended. Of course, I suspect that all this "Gawd's intent" hot air boils down to "a match the Randy Brother would approve of", which would constitute Pride, a capital sin. Enjoy the prospect of burning in Hell, Bro., luckily I don't have to worry about that since I don't believe in that poppycock.

old comment by Redhunter

Actually the hollywood 'happily ever after' endings and the sanitized versions of families on television gave me a higher expectation of what life was going to be like then reality showed me.
"disqualified from whatever ministry god may have for you"? Oh noes! Most marriage ends in divorce anyway, and I'm sure most of them were performed in christian churches. What happened there? Did they watch a "hollywood" movie the week before? If your heart was torn asunder you would be dead. You are talking about relations between humans. This involves emotion, expectation, love, cooperation, companionship and many other things that you seem to have forgotten. If someone forgets how to be a good spouse because they watched a movie then I don't think you can blame the movie. If you don't know that the real world is different then the hollywood dating world you are divorced from reality.

old comment by Illuvatarwen

Point 1: Read the Book of Ruth
Point 2: Not everyone who's had sex before marriage gets an STD Point 3: You would know this how? Point 4: It's called "Keep your sins between you and God" I.E. DON'T BROADCAST IT! Point 5: Not everyone who's had sex before marriage gets pregnant. It has something to do with the female cycle Point 6: No, because breaking up with a boyfriend doesn't cost money. And I know people who've dated "hollywood" style, and they're happily married Point 7: Once again, how do you know hearts are torn asunder by sexual intimacy outside of marriage unless you experienced it yourself? If that's the case, then what are you doing in the ministry, by your own admonition... Besides I think you're spouting. you're so afraid of being placed in a world where God requires you to get your hands dirty you won't even read books by wise men because their FICTIONAL works contain wizards, and lions who talk. If you can't stand watching Chronicles of Narnia, I doubt you could stand watching something like Taming of the Shrew or Merchant of Venice (providing you could understand them)

old comment by Princess Rot

There are a lot of things you can learn from the backassward, totalitarian, Bro. Randy style of dating:

You can learn, first hand, what it is like to live in obedience to Randy.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to live with a fundamentalist brain disease.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to stand at the altAr of the Church of Randy.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be disqualified from life and society in general because a rape apologist told you that you are worthless.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be a parent to Randy's hideous rape offspring.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to practice for complete ignorance of the world.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to have your heart torn asunder because you joined your heart to someone who was not Randy.
Need I continue? Randy has a plan for marriage to teenage girl virgins and dating is not a part of it.

There. Fixed like a mofo.

old comment by GigaGuess

You can learn, first hand, what it is like to live in disobedience to God's will
By the Xian definition, everything shy of existing is against God's will. if I'm gonna go to hell anyways, I'm at least gonna have fun doing it.

You can learn, first hand, what it is like to live with a sexually transmitted disease
First, not all STIs are 100% sexually transmitted. Second, it's not like good Christians don't get ungodly urges, either...

You can learn, first hand, what it is like to stand at the wedding alter having a heart and/or body that is sexually impure
What does that matter?! What matters is if you love him/her.Above and beyond that, I could care less if he's had an entire circus troupe go through his bed.

You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be disqualified from whatever ministry God may have for you.
Which is why most sane people go to more moderate ministries. not everyone likes a red faced minister screeching "SINNER! WHORE!" and splashing holy water around like a sprinkler gone bad.

You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be a parent before you are ready or married.
Love the undercurrent of children as a punishent here....

You can learn, first hand, what it is like to practice for divorce.
Good Christians divorce, too...moreso, if they find that they are completely sexually incompatible after they get hitched.

You can learn, first hand, what it is like to have your heart torn asunder because you joined your heart to someone who was not God's will for you.
Again, sex isn't the only cause for this. There's a myriad of reasons this can surface.

old comment by JSS

There's a lot of things you can learn living in a fundie household:
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to hear bible quotes and passages ad nauseum.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be condemned and ridiculed for thinking freely.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to feel the warm christian "love" towards homosexuals.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be condemned, even for being heterosexual (Come on, let's face it).
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be told you deserve the worst torture and agony possible simply for, well, basically existing.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be classified as a nazi murderer if you don't agree with the religious reich beliefs.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to see pastors every Sunday discussing the loving warmth their god has towards atheists, gays, muslims, and other non-believers, but it's a little too much warmth that they can live with, if you know what I mean.
You can learn, first hand, what it is like to feel guilt of falling to sins like anger, pride, and envy, and cannot meet up to the perfect standards of a god who burns people for eternity, states repeatedly how he's better than his creation, and isn't happy unless all of his creation worships him.
Need I continue? Fundie families are more about guilt and fear than they are about happiness.

old comment by LDM

Let's see, you test drive a car before you buy it, trying out several to find the one that best suits your needs and style.

You try on shoes before you buy them, that is essential for your comfort & health, but also necessary to find the look you're happy with.

Sometimes, when available, you even sample foods at the market before buying them, to see if you like them.

But the single most intimate aspect of your life? Noooo, don't even look at him until after you're stuck with him for life! Of course, it couldn't be more obvious that fundie mean are reeeaaallly sexually insecure, so it only goes to reason that they wouldn't want their brides to know what good sex is really like.

“You can learn, first hand, what it is like to live in disobedience to God's will”
There are 613 commandments in the bible. Do you follow them all?

“You can learn, first hand, what it is like to live with a sexually transmitted disease”
Don’t need hollywood for that, notas long as godly idiots force abstinence-only sex ed.

“You can learn, first hand, what it is like to stand at the wedding alter having a heart and/or body that is sexually impure.”
We’re all sinngers, right? No one has a pure heart.
And as to the sex, there are showers, you know?

“You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be disqualified from whatever ministry God may have for you.”
Is that a thing? God didn’t take Swaggart or Baker out of their ministries, that took the press and public outrage.

“You can learn, first hand, what it is like to be a parent before you are ready or married.”
Heh. No one’s really ready to be a parent. Not the first time.

“You can learn, first hand, what it is like to practice for divorce.”
Meh. We has sex before marriage and been together for the better part of four decades. It’s not a doom.

“You can learn, first hand, what it is like to have your heart torn asunder because you joined your heart to someone who was not God's will for you.”
You think God hands out spouses?
If god had a plan for me, he should have spoken the fuck up a long time ago.

“Need I continue?”
Only if you’ve got an actual point you’re holding back….

“God has a plan for marriage and Hollywood's style of dating is not a part of it.”
A LONG time ago, my kids learned that ‘i saw it on TV’ is not an excuse for ignorance. Watching TV or movies isn’t the problem. An actual education is critical.

Bro. Randy #fundie teens-4-christ.org

44 comments

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