One day, I was taken for a hearing test and they found out I was deaf. My mother took me to be prayed for and again, God healed me!!!!! I was left with moderate hearing loss.
52 comments
So, you didn't know you were deaf until you had a hearing test, then after the hearing test, you understood yourself to be deaf, but words spoken to the air healed something you weren't aware of?????
Prayuz Jayzus, it's a fucking miracle!
What? God couldn't restore your entire hearing? You should have prayed to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He could have touched you with His Noodly Appendage and restored your hearing completely.
Seriously, they did an experiment in which people prayed for heart attack victims. Look here. It had no effect when the victims didn't know they were being prayed over. The death rate actually increased in cases where the victims knew they were being prayed for. The theory is that the people who knew they were being prayed for lost hope because they thought the prayer indicated that their condition was worse than they thought it was.
God is said to have performed many miracles of vast awesomeness. It would appear, however, that this one was only half-vast.
Oh, man, that is one of the funniest testimonials I have ever encountered! Yea and/or verily, this one is a keeper.
~David D.G.
@Osiris
Only moderate hearing loss now? God sure knows how to half-ass any job.
Yeah, he should work as a government contractor... ^^
"One day, I was taken for a hearing test and they found out I was deaf..."
Did she not notice this till she had a test?
Seems to me to be sematics. I reckon the tester told her mum she was "deaf" on the first test but at another test (after the prayer) the tester clarified the actual amount of deafness. Her actual hearing did not change, only the diagnosis.
I myself call myself deaf but I can hear reasonably well - I need an aid to top it up a bit.
Praise Jebus for the audioligist but why did they not make digital aids when I was at school!
Okay, you didn't know you were deaf until your ears were tested.
Then God, in his infinite mercy, just gave you a medium amount of deafness. He apparently has a plan in which you don't need to hear too well.
PRAIESE JEEBUSSAH!!!!
Your God could've completely cured it, but He decides to halfass it.
Maybe He was playing Halo or something while He was doing it?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.