A missionary I knew watched a bullet headed for him do a RIGHT ANGLE before it got to him.
245 comments
In that case, how come He let all those other missionaries end up in soup pots?
I get a chuckle out of how fundies always make God into a more powerful but just as stupid version of themselves. Why didn't He just make the gun misfire? Or why didn't he strike the shooter dead before he fired? In fact, why even have missionaries? Why not just appear before the people and tell them to shape up and get true religion or he'll give them all elephantiasis and genital herpes?
Anyway, if typical small rifle is fired from 300 feet away, the bullet will reach you in less than 2/10th of a second - well before the sound of the shot. While I won't say that seeing a bullet fired at you is impossible, it would be darn rare.
<< Yeah, what was this missionary's name again? Wally West, you say? >>
Chan: Hey, that would at least be consistent with another holy man; I understand Wally could walk on water -- or, rather, run on water.
Fed Up : I believe that's called a ricochet.
That's what it sounds like to me, combined with EXTREME EXAGGERATION! Or maybe it's just a lie.
Or maybe God does work in mysterious ways. Like, really mysterious.
The velocity of a round from an AK is slow enough for you to see it pass you at about 25 yards away. So, yes you can see small arms fire.
I have had the same thing happen to me. Martyr left out the fact the missionary was behind a sight block or bullet proof glass.
It is just like watching a rock from a truck in front of you crack your front window. No god required.
Jonathan : Dawkins briefly recounts this story in The God Delusion . Apparently the pope, having survived, said that Mary or some saint had guided the bullet. Dawkins dryly asked why she/he hadn't guided it to miss him entirely.
So how the fuck do you train to be a Martyr? Does it involve nearly blowing yourself up and half shooting yourself?
By learning how to make bombs and fly planes.
It wasn't any god; see, Superman was flying by, so fast that people can't see him, and the bullet bounced off his chest of steel. Come on, MartyrInTraining, it's so obvious.
Theoretically if the bullet fired at the missionary was a musket ball from a 16-17th century musket, then yes, it is completely possible for the bullet to have made a turn after being shot. The musket was extremely inaccurate for that reason. Since the barrel of the gun was slightly larger than the ball it would cause the ball to spin, which then would cause the ball to turn in very odd directions while in flight. But even with a musket rifle, the chances of seeing a pullet flying is pretty rare.
Also, I guess it is possible that wind resistance could have also moved the bullet during flight. You always have to compensate for wind resistance.
It was a cartoon bullet. They can stop in midair (often accompanied by a skidding sound) and actually talk in some instances. This usually happens if the bullet likes the target and decides not to cap him or her.
Real bullets do not behave in this way.
I personally think think this is bull, but just to be sure, we should stick the missionary on a cross and wait a few days. Nothing happens, we knew he was lying. Something does, well, be VERY sorry.
Well, miracles do happen.
18 years ago a small plane flying over my house ran into problems (total engine failure), which resulted in it taking a nosedive. Eye witnesses said it took a slight turn to to the left as it dove directly toward my house and, instead, crashed through the roof of my christian neighbor.
True story. I still lol at the irony.
From the way this is worded, it sounds to me like he's reporting that a bullet, mid-path, zinged around to HIT the missionary.
I loll'd.
I think the missionary in question is genuine in believing that the bullet did a "right angle", but I suspect it was a trick of perspective.
If the incoming round was a near miss, the difference in angle would become more noticeable as it got closer. Until then, it would look like it was coming right for him; then as it reached close range, it would appear to move to one side as the angular movement became more apparent.
And it IS possible to see an incoming bullet, as long as it's coming right at you or a near-miss; the angular movement across your field of view would be much less than if you were looking at it from another angle. And the round might be visible through tracer glow/trail or sunlight reflection off the metal jacket. (I have heard of the latter happening.)
Oh Yea!
and just the other day i dropped an apple up!
and my friend created a perpetual motion machine
and my brother traveled through time!
crap man, all these people make themselves sound like such freaking idiots
this is why most people think americans are all freaking mentally challenged hicks
Well sounds like ur friend could be the ultimat answer to the big question... does god exist? Tell you what, you find this guy, get him to demonstrate this to the world in the presence of a live audience and then maybe... just maye... il start to believe in..... freak fucking occurence! One: the man is an outrageous liar and you should hang ur head for firstly believing that horseshit, and secondly preaching it! Two: If it really did happen id quicker believe that a giant magnet on the oither side of the sun suddenly changed the bullets trajectory than a god stopped it. THERE IS NO GOD.
Wow! That's really something.
Shall we test it to make sure he wasn't just lying. You stand in front of me and il point a gun at you and fire. Presumably, being the evil athiest that I am, the bullet will turn a full 180 and go right through my cold black heart.
That's a slow fucking bullet. And make a 90-degree turn? Let me guess... the back end of the bullet tapered to a narrow point, and the bullet had a pair of clear insect wings on each side up front near it's large pair of compound eyes, and six legs hanging off it's underside.
"before it got to him."
that impies that it turned 90 degrees to hit him. it still does prove that god exists, but it also proves he hates missionaries.
also this guy's name is "MaytrInTraining" I think he's a terrorist.
Right, so God changed the velocity of the object. Acceptable.
However, momentum was not conserved (it appears), so I'm not to happy about this
Yeah, the bullet stopped, fucked a right angle, and then got to him.
Your sentence doesn't even make any sense when interpreted non-sarcastically.
it sounds like a missionary he knew was a damn liar, then
or maybe he's the liar, either one is a valid possibility
Wow, can we test this one out on fundies?
I'll shoot bullets at them and they can make them deflect with their faith!
Then, when the bullet realized that it was a missionary, turned right back around and killed him. The magic bullet did this because it follows George Carlin's 3rd commandment "tho shalt keep thy religion to thyself".
It was headed for him, turned 90 degrees, and got to him?
Hmm, I'll have to look into this bug...
Which proves : Christians are liars
Or: God really hated that guy to the left of him
Or: Missionarys have seen the Matrix
This is probably supposed to be read as "before it hit him, it did a right angle so it was no longer aimed at him." But "before it hit him" can also be read as meaning something like "before eventually hitting him". So my first thoughts were that the world hated this missionary so much that the bullet defied the laws of physics to hit the poor guy.
(Roaring with laughter)
Oh...he watched a bullet head right for him, did he? Did he use his magical time-slowing machine to do this?
And these idiot fundies wonder why the rest of us don't take anything they say seriously.
Can you please post the YouTube link so that we can all see it? Again, are you sure you weren't watching The Matrix?
______________
**Remember, god loves you and he NEEDS money**
So it made a right angle before it got to him? So it turned 90 degrees mid flight THEN it got to him.
Man, sucks to be a missionary.
Unless you are telling a fib. In which case, you suck. And according to your rules, are going to hell.
"oh my god im watching this bullet come at me and
ZING
right angle! yay god!"
And that children, is why people hate christianity...
buncha lying retards.
Who rolled a bullet at him?
Also, do you mean "turn ninety degrees" or "do" a right angle, as in, depict one and measure it, etc.?
Be more specific.
Just one "Wanted" reference, and (disappointingly) just one "Preacher" reference. Oh well.
I too found "Wanted" to be jolly good fun, in a check-your-brain-in-at-the-door kind of way. But it got me thinking - you can curve a football and a golfball, so surely - at least in principle and theory - it should be possible to curve a bullet.
Or not!
So it was headed for him, turned 90 degrees, and then hit him. Come on man, you gotta be able to tell that someone's lying when they say they've seen Euclidean geometry completely defied.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.