My husband and I are both taking second jobs, and saving every penny we can to purchase land, and build an underground shelter to hide in during the tribulation period. We are stocking it up with enough food, water, and supplies to last 3.5 years.
We figure the whole thing can be done for around $50,000 - $60,000.
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Hey, a good friend of mine is an ordained minister (he got his certification off the internet, and no, I'm not kidding, and yes, it's legit), and he's offering to bless your home so it will be immune to all attacks during this 3.5 year period. All he asks is that you give each of us half the money you were going to spend. You'd be crazy not to take this limited time offer!
You know, if they dropped that spare cash on doing good works, like helping the poor and feeding the starving, they wouldn't have to try to survive during the tribulation period.
@Catherine: The Chrysalids is a seriously great book, and a very astute portrait of fundamentalist religion, too.
Not particularly fundie, but VERY NAIVE. One, what do they think they´re going to do with so much "terrenal" shit?, and don´t hope to find something like that for less than 100000.
Folks, the 3.5 year thing makes perfect sense. There are some Rapture believers who do not believe in either a pre- or post-Tribulation Rapture, but a mid-Tribulation one. It's based on an interpretation of one judgement in Revelation, I think the seventh seal one but I haven't read Revelation in so long that I can't remember. In any case, it's the one where the judgement isn't actually described; all that is mentioned is silence in Heaven.
What? No rapturing away to laugh and point at all the poor fools suffering and dying? I guess you aren't really saved then, are you?
That actually sounds really cool. I've always wanted a battle fortress myself. It would have a geothermal power source, an unmanned sentry system, a nuclear self-destruct mechanism and a spiked moat with cute little goldfish!
Thanks for the explanation Axver, I was going to post something similar.
I'm just amused thinking of these sillyass hillbillies wiping out their life savings, so that they can spend 3 1/2 years in a bomb shelter, at the end of which time... NOTHING has happened, except they're deadassed broke and all their neighbors think they're loons.
Well, actually not all christians believe in a pre-tribulation rapture. Many believe we will be here through the tribulation, very hard times, where we will be forced to take the mark of the beast or we will not be able to buy food. These people have faith in God but they are also following the bible where it says that a prudent man is prepared.
"Tribulation" reminds me of The Chrysalids. Did anyone else have to read that one in high school?
I always wondered who bought that useless crap from the radio reverends' sponsors: the alternative health scams, the water filters, precious metals for the collapse of the world's currencies, and I pictured some nut in a mountain cabin in Idaho somewhere. These two are probably all of it: suspicious of the government and everyone else, well-armed.
actually, Christians won't suffer, the People of God will... Christianity is a man made religion and what defines a Christian is not what the Bible describes as one of Gods Children. Also, the Bible is clear if you understand its prophecys. Daniels 70th week = 7 years, starts with 3 and a half of peace, followed by 3 and a half of tribulation.. Tribulations root word means Testing of Ones Faith.. it will only be bad for people who refuse a Mark to Buy or Sell. For the rest of the Planet who doesnt believe in Jesus and Gods Word the Great Tribulation may not be so bad, it is afterward when God returns that they are in trouble.. eternity in hell , the Bible says the a Man will do miracles, bring world peace, and claim He is God.. Mainstream Christianity who believes Rapture nonsense out of Fear, will simply go with the flow when it means saving their own skin, after seeing their Rapture never came they certainly wont join the losing side. Only the People of God (people who actually live by the Bible and not Christianity or other religions) will suffer... since they will recognize God, as an impostor and refuse to worship Him. It will basically seem to you guys like it is YOU who is on Gods side, and we will be considered the anti christs. Read your Bibles, figure it out, it is good stuff.
@ TheFundy
It will basically seem to you guys like it is YOU who is on Gods side, and we will be considered the anti christs.
No offense, sweets, you seem very civil, but as you're a self-proclaimed fundie who lives by the Bible, odds are good that we're already higher up in the morality ratings. Also, 'we' are a motley crew of every shade of religion through to anti-theism, and quite a few of us will never consider ourselves to be on "God's" side. Hence the relevance of referring to it as morality, as I'm pretty sure you were aiming for the same effect.
In short, if that's a defining factor of the tribulation, then it's been going on for a while now.
Also, the Bible is clear if you understand its prophecys.
Your "prophecies" were pieced together in the 19th century by hacking up bits of Daniel (which was, consistent with Hebrew prophetic literature, about society at the time ) and Revelation (which was, in the first-century tradition of apocalyptic literature as underground social satire, about society at the time ). If your interpretations are so "clear", why did it take 1800 years for anyone to come up with them, and why did none of the people living in the social context in which the documents you're basing your "prophecies" on actually see any of these "clear" ideas?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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