I believe the President Elect Barack Obama will be the next and last American President to be assassinated while in office. Sometime after that, I believe, that a miracle will occur and he wil return from the dead. After that he will present a plan that will offer peace for the entire world that will, according to the plan, last for seven years. Those athiest among you who know the Bible better than I do should recognize to whom I refer and believe that Barack Obama is. Please inform those atheist who do not know the Bible as well as we do to that to which I refer. Thank you.
52 comments
Yes many atheists know the Bible quite well, which is why we refuse to force it onto someone else.
And no, Barack Obama is not the Antichrist.
Okay, here's a deal.
If this DOES happen, I will give you ONE MILLION POUNDS!!
If it doesn't, you fuck off and jump off a cliff.
Most of us probably know the buybull (in all it's various translations) better than most fundies. In fact, in a large number of cases, knowledge of the book is the main reason that we don't believe it.
"Those athiest among you who know the Bible better than I do [...]"
I find this part particularly amusing.
Maybe if you actually read your fucking useless book you'd be able to distinguish the pertinent characteristics of your precious antichrist rather than making half-ass attempts like this to pin that particular identity on anyone and everyone.
Those athiest [sic] among you who know the Bible better than I do..
Yes we do and that is why we are trying to tell you it is a collection of 2000+ year old goat herder and camel driver scifi. Please do not confuse it with reality. Will you listen to us now?
I can practically see this a**hole hunched over his monitor, manically pumping his fist up and down.
All right, I confess: I am the Anti-Christ. Please report to the nearest recruiting station for your Mark.
Ok, so I have two thoughts here:
This guy actually admits that more atheists know the bible better than christians.
-OR-
He's really thinking "Theist" and screwing that up too. It could go either way.
"I believe the President Elect Barack Obama will be the next and last American President to be assassinated while in office."
That sounds a teensy weensy wee bit like he's planning something to me......
@ Beeblebrox
I can practically see this a**hole hunched over his monitor, manically pumping his fist up and down.
Yeah, B, I see it, too. What in hell is that tiny little thing in his fist . . .?
Oh! never mind.
"I believe the President Elect Barack Obama will be the next and last American President to be assassinated while in office. Sometime after that, I believe, that a miracle will occur and he wil return from the dead."
"...and then, I believe, whatever happens next in the Left Behind series will also occur..."
Yes I do know the bible well enough to know what you are talking about.
However, the bible is a load of bullshit.
OK. If and when this happens, we'll admit you were right all along, and that Revelation wasn't just some insane ramblings writen by a guy on magic mushrooms. If it turns out that none of this happens after eight years, will you admit we were right all along?
And here I thought only consies thought non-consies saw Barack as the Messiah...
Still this is an unusual one. You'd think a fundie would consider him the antichrist, rather then the regular unleaded one.
Meanwhile in the real world, Obama is so leading a plan for peace he continues to stir the pot of tensions in East Asia, the Middle East, and Ukraine. I'll believe zombie Obama when I see him.
Let's see...
he's charismatic,
80% of Americans hate his guts,
many at least think he's from Africa,
he dies,
performs a miracle,
and comes back to life,
advocates peace...
I know. Pick me, PICK ME!
He's Jesus!!!
What do I win?
Hey guys, y'know Obama was assassinated ?
Yeah
Well, he's back!
Yeah, so ?
He's got a plan for world peace.
OMG!
It's only valid for seven years though.
OHMYGAWD!
Seems legit.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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