Hi guys, I seem to have a problem with demons manafesting around me by making alot of noises, they also seem to know what im thinking?????
Ive had it for years now so im used to it and I know that God and his angels are more powerfull than them the only problem is they wont go away even if I rebuke them which I have tried to do many times, I have removed all and anything from my house that could let them have any sort of legal right, I dunno if it is one or many demons but it sure is annoying....
any advice?
42 comments
That's "manifest."
There are no laws in place that you could use to deny demons the legal right to access your home and make lots of noises that only you can hear, no matter how many times you howl "I rebuke you in the name of the lord!" across your living room, all alone.
"... I seem to have a problem with demons manafesting (sic) around me by making alot (sic) of noises, ..."
That's called farting.
"... they also seem to know what im (sic) thinking????? (sic)"
That's because your thought resembles the loud expulsion of malodorous gas through an excretory channel.
As to your other statements, God and His angels are more powerful than a fart? Says you!
"... they wont go away even if I rebuke them ..."
No they won't. Instead, use a peg on your nose.
"any advice?"
Put a cork in it.
The worst demons can do is annoy you?
Heck, I could do worse than demons. I could at least knock some stuff over.
Pule Thamex wins the Internet!
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Pule Thamex
"... I seem to have a problem with demons manafesting (sic) around me by making alot (sic) of noises, ..."
That's called farting.
"... they also seem to know what im (sic) thinking????? (sic)"
That's because your thought resembles the loud expulsion of malodorous gas through an excretory channel.
As to your other statements, God and His angels are more powerful than a fart? Says you!
"... they wont go away even if I rebuke them ..."
No they won't. Instead, use a peg on your nose.
"any advice?"
Put a cork in it.
I love how nochalant he is about the whole idea.
"Yo, dude. S'up?"
"Aw, I got demons in my house."
"Bummer."
I mean, if I had actual demons in my house, I'd be more than a little annoyed.
"any advice?"
Kill yourself.
@ Pule ThamexGod and His angels are more powerful than a fart? Says you!
I'm with you there, Pule. Last week the fat lady I work with farted in our cubicle and it could have knocked out all 6,796 gods listed on the intertubes, and their angels.
I have removed all and anything from my house that could let them have any sort of legal right
Hmm. Given their pro-litigation stance, I don't think this is a case of demons. I think it's scientologists.
My advice is to hide in a psychiatrist's office. They won't come after you there.
And, you know, it would help with you being a total whackjob.
Luck is with you, friendly crazy dude! The Pharmolgical industry has many candies they can give you to help you deal with those demons!
They won't know what you're thinking, because you barely will!
People will seem less annoying thanks to Phuqi-tol!
I would suggest 'upping' your dose...
...then,
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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