Tribulation Eve
A BILL IN THE U.S. CONGRESS
All households shall be required to adopt an undocumented immigrant family.
Criticism of Islam shall be punishable by fines and imprisonment.
The electoral college is hereby abolished.
ICE and Homeland Security is hereby abolished.
All citizens, including law enforcement, shall be disarmed.
Prisons are hereby abolilshed.
Conservatives are required to receive psychiatric counselling.
Corporate tax rate is raised to 60 percent.
Tickling is considered child abuse and inappropriate contact.
Children's story hours at pre-schools shall include transgender and Islamic story tellers.
[Twelve thousand others follow for today's session of the House. See them at the DNC website]
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TRANSCRIPT
Schumer: Nance - the women's march was cancelled for being too white?
Pelosi: Come now, Chuck, the race card ALWAYS will outplay the woman card.
23 comments
You know the liberal movement is impossible to criticize when the always have to lie about it ridiculous levels.
The only germ of truth in this whole thing is "The electoral college is hereby abolished." It's why republicans win the house without the votes, unfair as hell.
And when was the womens march "too white"? Is that some Alex Jones claim?
First of all, what is Chuck doing here if you're making an argument against the House passing bills? Do you, like most Americans, have NO IDEA how your own fucking government works?
Second, it's funny that you are reduced to making up bullshit bills that are "supposedly going to be passed", because the first few bills that have been passed? The funding bill the Senate passed before Donald had his Wall Tantrum. Oh, and a bill pushing improvements and fixes to your fucking VOTING system. But of course, you'd probably consider that awful; it might let the wrong sort vote, right?
This bill would have to originated in the Senate which is controlled by Republicans.
Keep punching that strawman, Mick.
"A BILL IN THE U.S. CONGRESS"
Fake news.
@Canadiest
"And when was the womens march "too white"? Is that some Alex Jones claim?"
This one is actually true. The organizers cancelled it because there were not enough
non-whites to be representative of the country. They didn't want it to look like an alt-right rally.
This is how the hard-line rightist-fascist partisan slips his deplorable ideas past the eyes of others, by hiding things inside crazy, impossible or undesirable ideas. Abolish the electoral college and a corporate tax rate of 60 percent? Why not? In the first, you are opposed because even gerrymandering can't erase raw numbers on that scale. In the second you're being essentially Locutus for the Corporatist Borg, threatening that if their demands are not met they will run to other countries that pander to them. You show they have no loyalty, demand unreasonable amounts of money like an extortionate and, frankly, are criminal on some level.
Canadiest,
A while back, a particular Women's March was cancelled for fear that the participants wouldn't represent the diversity of women as a whole or something. People on the right jumped on it, naturally, not paying attention to the fact that it was a local event, not THE Women's March. You can just Google "Women's March too white" and hope you eventually get a not super partisan source for more information.
"Criticism of Islam shall be punishable by fines and imprisonment"
So you don't want that for criticism of Christianity?
"The electoral college is hereby abolished"
Depends what you replace it with.
"Prisons are hereby abolilshed."
That's what the Proud Boys want... on the other hand where are all the people who criticised Islam going to be put?
"Conservatives are required to receive psychiatric counselling."
No, Mick, just you. http://www.fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=137797
Sad when the most horrible, nightmarish strawman liberal bill you can think of only has a few bad things in it.
"OH no, trans and islamic people can tell stories to children!"
"Oh god, not the Electoral College! Who will botch our future elections?"
"Corporate tax rate is up? YOU MONSTERS! YOU FUCKING MONSTERS! DISCRIMINATING AGAINST PEOPLE THAT JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE CORPORATIONS!"
@Mick-who-lost-most-of-his-crayons-Williams
(a list of stuff that makes cons shit their pants for some reason)
Aside from the actual good ideas mixed in with the "Ooh scary" ideas for maximum ooga-booga effect, why didn't this lazy dumbass bother to write this out as another panel to his already crap "cartoons?"
Also, what the hell does that have to do with the chicken diarrhea that he scribbled out?
"A BILL IN THE U.S. CONGRESS
All households shall be required to adopt an undocumented immigrant family."
"A" bill?
I would hope that if I ever were to make up a phony bill to blame on the Republicans, I could at least dress up the lie.
Mine would be something like "Senate Bill S564" and maybe name the sponsor, "Senator Paula Beaver (R) from Idaho." Because no one knows the names of the people from Idaho, but the chances are really good that they're Republicans.
And wouldn't this article of a progressive law have been aimed at the moneyed? "All households WITH A HOUSEHOLD INCOME OF $X OR MORE shall be required to adopt an undocumented immigrant family" Note that SameSex marriage households are exempt from this requirement...
I mean, really, if you're going to caricature the Left, then put some time into the parody.
Criticism of Islam shall be punishable by fines and imprisonment.
Prisons are hereby abolilshed.
Just because you can't manage internal consistency, Mick, doesn't mean the Democrats can't. (Nice job spelling "abolished," by the way.)
Some of these "scary" laws are actually pretty good, namely:
The electoral college is hereby abolished.
ICE and Homeland Security is hereby abolished.
Corporate tax rate is raised to 60 percent.
A couple of them would be good if slightly tweaked:
Overtly racist and ethnocentric criticism of Islam shall be punishable by fines and imprisonment.
All citizens, excluding law enforcement, shall be disarmed, but law enforcement shall not be militarized.
Private-for-profit prisons are hereby abolilshed.
As for the last one I'm pretty sure that some preschools already have guest story-tellers that are of different backgrounds than most of the students but to cons teaching kids to be tolerant and inclusive is a bad thing.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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