If I had had had sex at least once with a woman from my country then I would have some confidence and I would enroll to a post graduate in my country. Not being a virgin would motivate me to try and find another girl.

But since I'm a disgraced virgin, I'm too embarassed to stay in my country and do a post graduate here. I will be nothing but a loser, a ghost, women won't give fuck for a subhuman incel. This fact was what led me to choose a postgraduate in a foreign country. The shame will be much less since I will be in a completely different society. Stranger among strangers.

It costs a shit load of money to study abroad but I didn't have another choice if I wanted to maintain my NEET lifestyle. Even my parents have accpeted that women from my ethnic group will never like me so they encouraged me to leave the country. So I basically, just gave up. There was no point staying home as a sub 6 asocial male, there was nothing left for me here.