My name is Matt McNeese. In March 2002 I was arrested for "the largest identity theft case in U.S. history". I spent 4 months incarcerated while spending time in a county jail, federal prison hospital and a detention center in Brooklyn, New York.
Through an incredible turn of events God spared me from the 45 years of prison time I was facing. He gave me 3 years probation instead.
My testimony shows how a Christian turned his back on God completely and the consequences that followed. However, God sat me down in a jail cell and gave me another chance.
58 comments
Yeah, I'd pretend to convert too if I could get a 45 year sentence reduced to 3 years probation. So, what sort of scam are you setting up this time, asshole?
A professional conman pretending to be a Xian? Where have I heard of this before?
Oh, yes. Kent Hovind.
But that's unfair. Almost every other member of the 'Intelligent Design' rabble too (with exceptions made for those Creationists who're too mentally ill to be face trial)is just as guilty.
Maybe we could prosecute every other priest/pastor/imam/etc/etc for making a living by selling a non-existent product too.
Please, everybody:http://archives.cnn.com/2002/TECH/internet/03/07/identity.thief.idg/
The best part: In his quote, he's still trying to pretend like he was some big, bad criminal who was touched by God's grace. News flash for Matt McNeese: Stealing the private info of 60,000 people from an employer who trusted you doesn't make you a big, bad criminal. But getting busted before you can even accomplish anything other than harrassing your victims does make you a STUPID DOUCHEBAG!
I thought the prescribed Biblical punishment for just about every crime (eg wearing a poly-cotton shirt or eating a rabbit) was death by stoning, followed by eternal torture in the afterlife in most cases.
Three years probation seems a bit light.
akg41470 - I'd call total bulls*it on this to be honest. Very little of it rings true - although scamming the fundies seems like a great idea :-)
Google does show a Donald Matt McNeese arrested for ID theft in 2002, however there are a lot of Matt McNeese's out there :-)
My testimony shows how a Christian turned his back on God completely and the consequences that followed. However, God sat me down in a jail cell and gave me another chance.
Right, it was God that completely gave you another chance because you are such a wonderful person. In other news, the Catholic Church moved around many molesting priests so that they could also have "another chance."
Without hard evidence, I don't believe that it was God, but rather a descision made by the judge on your case.
So now God doesn't want us to punish offenders anymore? Identity theft is OK if only it's Christians doing it? The severity of punishment should depend on your chosen religion?
Think about what you're saying.
akg41470 - I'd call total bulls*it on this to be honest.
Bull. Shit.
Google "the largest identity theft case in U.S. history" and you'll find that arrests associated with it did, indeed, occur in 2002, according to the Justice Department, but the name McNeese occurs no where in any of the various news reports on it.
Matt McNeese may have committed identity theft. Maybe he stole his mom's credit card or something. But his claim quoted here is just another scam.
Y'know if this McNeese fellow really DID commit the "Largest Identify Theft Case in US History", you'd think there'd be a Wikipedia article for it, right?
Right?
Or maybe there IS no McNeese the ID Fraud, and just McNeese the Fundie.
Good find, Neil. That's hilarious.
Matt: "Hi, you might know me as the guy who was arrested for "the largest identity theft case in U.S. history."
Translation: "SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE!! I'M A REALLY FAMOUS CRIMINAL AND STUFF! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!"
The scary thing is, a lot of criminals DO get their sentences reduced if they claim to have "found Jesus."
I wish these gullible Christian probation officers would remember that Timothy McVeigh "found Jesus" too.
> My name is Matt McNeese. In March 2002 I was arrested
That's what you say, but you could be anyone.
You wouldn't believe how christian - type people will steal from public libraries because they felt or thought the material was EVIL. My local library has lost so much. To withhold anything that helps folks get the information to make intelligent decisions. That is evil. Or (gasp) think for oneself. That's evil, too. Bet they'd freak out if they (Christian-types) knew that the word for spirit is female gendered in the ancient Hebrew/Chaldean languages. But you'd never hear the Holy Spirit refered to as "SHE" Yeah, I read it in A BOOK. A KJV hebrew/chaldean greek dicitonary with Bible concordance. So get stuffed.
"Through an incredible turn of events God spared me from the 45 years of prison time I was facing. He gave me 3 years probation instead.
My testimony shows how a Christian turned his back on God completely and the consequences that followed. However, God sat me down in a jail cell and gave me another chance."
Nice way of proving that the majority of prison imnates are Christians.
..whereas the tiniest minority of inmates are Atheists.
Proving we Atheists are morally superior to you fundies, much?
No, no, you're confused. The dude in the sky who may or may not exist and who may or may not be headdesking at your idiocy is God. The dude who put your idiot ass on probation for nowhere near long enough is "the Judge" ('Udgey' to his friends). Please, pay attention.
So your god messed with the free will of your judge, eh?
And I always thought these fundie types were more in favour of “Law and Order” and the heathen liberals were the ones who are soft on crime.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
