DID ED SNOWDEN & THE CIA RUIN BRAZIL'S WORLD CUP?

The host Brazilians were matched up against Germany in a semifinal match played in the city of Belo Horizonte. Though the Germans were considered a slightly stronger team, and Brazil was without two key players (due to very weird occurrences which we will visit later), Brazil's "12th man" (the screaming home crowd) was expected to be an equalizing factor in a close match.

Just 11 minutes into the match, Germany scored its first goal when Brazilian defender David Luis failed to cover his assigned man, Thomas Muller, after a 'corner kick'. The pathetic spectacle of Luis, considered one of the world's best players, arriving at the last moment to try and avert a disaster that had already happened, was stunning for any knowledgeable soccer fan to behold. Oh well, even the great Brazil makes mistakes, right? Germany 1, Brazil 0.

In the 23rd minute, Germany scored again as certain Brazilian players seemed to wander about in a trance. Germany 2, Brazil 0.

Literally 1 minute later, Germany's Toni Kroos volleyed home a goal, again, while unmarked by any defender. Germany 3, Brazil 0

Two minutes later, Kroos scored again after the Brazilian Fernandinho carelessly gave up the ball in Brazil's half of the field. Germany 4, Brazil 0.

In the 29th minute, there came another easy goal, the 5th in just 18 minutes. Germany 5, Brazil 0.

Many Brazilian supporters in the crowd were reduced to tears and a state of shock. Germany would go on to add a 6th & 7th goal in the 2nd half, as well as missing a few other good opportunities. The match could easily have ended up 10-0! Only in the final minutes of play did the Brazilians manage to avoid a shutout.

Final score: Germany 7, Brazil 1.

CONSPIRACY THEORIES CIRCULATE

Allegations of match-fixing exploded across the Internet. Videos of all 7 of Germany's easy goals gave the appearance that the Brazilians, or least a bunch of them, weren't even trying. Defenders can be seen jogging after German players who are in full sprint. World-class players stand around and look at each other like retarded children during a school recess game. Brazilian players fall down without being touched, while others turn their backs from the attacking Germans. The goal-keeper appears out of place, making theatrical dives only after the ball has already gone into his own goal. No one can deny that the play of the Brazilian team certainly mimicked that of a bribed team trying to throw the match (as has happened in international play before).

There is just one problem with this 'conspiracy theory'; a problem which rendered the idea totally unrealistic in the eyes of the deniers. You see, Brazilian soccer stars are all multi-millionaires. Moreover, had they won the World Cup, they would have become immortalized and even wealthier. The conspiracy deniers had a very valid point. Why would multi-millionaires throw away a chance at immortality for money they didn't need? Previous match-fixing allegations have centered around poorer African or Central American players, but not the filthy rich Brazilian National superstars.

It is extremely unlikely, if not impossible, that the superstars of Brazil were bribed. But what if they were blackmailed and/or threatened? Where are we going with this?

Enough of sports for now. Let's talk geo-politics.

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2014: PRESIDENT ROUSSEFF CRUSHES WORLD CUP 'UPRISING' IN THE BUD!

On the eve of the 2014 World Cup, in TomatoBubble's June 10th issue of its Daily Anti-New York Times, (which you really should subscribe to!), your intrepid reporter here praised President Rousseff for her bold action in preventing a repeat of the fake CIA 'soccer revolution' attempted in 2013. Although Rousseff is a socialist, she is neither a psycho dogmatic Marxist nor a kept U.S. stooge, and she appears to have the interests of her rapidly developing nation at heart. When the rent-a-mobs threatened, Dilma proved to be "more of a man" than Ukraine's dethroned and de-balled Yanukovich ever was!

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In spite of the ceaseless efforts of the cruel U.S. 'Grinch' to ruin Brazil's big National party, it appeared as though Brazilian soccer fans would be able to enjoy their cherished World Cup tournament in peace, and, hopefully, cheer their hometown sports-gods onto a 6th World Championship.

But did the Axis of Evil have a hidden card left to play?

BRIDGE COLLAPSES NEAR STADIUM AS BRAZIL ADVANCES TO SEMI-FINAL

As the World Cup tournament entered its final week, Brazilian soccer passion was at a fever pitch. The 32 team field had been narrowed down to just 4, and the host-nation team was one of them, along with Germany, Argentina and Holland. Brazil was set to face Germany in the July 8th semi-final match, to be played in the city of Belo Horizonte. (The World Cup tournament games were played out in 12 different cities)

On July 3rd, just 5 days before the big game, and 1 day before Brazil defeated Columbia in the quarterfinals, an unfinished highway overpass collapsed in, of all places, Belo Horizonte, not far from the stadium. The collapse killed two people and injured 22 others. (here) Could someone have been sending a 'Sicilian message' to Brazil's players? Were they, or their families under personal threat in addition to being blackmailed over God knows what they may have been set up with?

"Just a little reminder boys, we mean business. Next time we'll kill many more. You know what to do in the semi's!"