(Idiotic racist comes up with a poem!)
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the section ape house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a nigger or mouse.
The stockings and weaves were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Muhdick soon would be there;
The lil monkeys were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of basketballs danced in their nappy heads;
And big mamma in her spandex, and the buck in his sideways turned cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the chicken bone covered lawn there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from the bed to see wat da fuck was da mattah.
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of bling to the objects below,
When, what to their bulging yellow eyes should see,
But a flying, golden hooptie, and eight winged chimpanzees,
With a bling-covered driver, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment it must be St. Muhdick.
More rapid than NFL nigger wide recievers his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, DAYSHAWN! now, TYREE! now, RASHON and VIXEN!
On, KAYVON! on TYRELL! on, DEANDRE and BLITZEN!
To the top of the monkey porch! to the top of the wall!
GET YO MUFUCKIN ASSES UP DER! and dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before street basketball niggers fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the ghetto nest-top the coursers they flew,
With the hooptie full of stolen UPS packages, and St. Muhdick too.
And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof
The ghetto hooptie land by flying chimps with gold toofs
As the buck drew in his hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Muhdick came with a bound.
He was dressed like a nigger pimp, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all stained with fried chicken grease and soot;
A bundle of watermelons and KFC buckets, he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His bulbous yellow eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like plums, his nose like 2 fat berries!
His big ass lips and mouth was drawn up like a bow,
The stump of a newport he held tight in his golden teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his ape head like a wreath;
He had a broad gorilla face and a huge hippo belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of nigger grape jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old nigger elf,
And the niggers laughed when they saw him, in spite of dayselves and shit;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his wooly head,
Let them know this was no home invasion, so they had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings with ebt cards; then turned with a jerk,
And sticking his finger into his booger nigger nose,
And blasted out a fart, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his flying ghetto hooptie, to his chimps gave a whistle,
And away they flew like a happy nigger after having a felony dismissal.
But they heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS MOTHAFUCKAS AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"