Quote# 85585

By inviting comments and interacting with them they have done a great job of exposing the overwhelmingly agreed upon faith structure of the religion. We start the series with the most flamingly obvious doctrine Cannibalism.

Now this doctrine was revealed to me in the process of researching my fourth book, "The Great Debate". I touched on it briefly in the book but I wasn't sure if it was random, isolated cases of disgusting social dysfunction or across the board commonality among all atheists. Over the intervening months I have discovered, or rather it was revealed to me by the atheists, that cannibalism has been accepted into mainstream atheism as a matter of fact. Allow me to read just a couple of the comments left by atheists concerning the act of eating people

PPSimmons, P P S I M M O N S 99 Comments [1/13/2012 6:04:03 AM]
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OtakuX

I, what? No. Just no.

1/13/2012 6:07:59 AM

Adey

Firing up the BBQ, babies cooking this weekend.
What! You mean it's a BAD thing? Oh well, back to the bacon then.
(Sarcasm, BTW)

1/13/2012 6:20:32 AM

Bollox

One hopes this is some kind of Poe.

OTOH, if he were to turn his attention to the RCC, he would find they eat man-flesh every Sunday ...

EDIT: no, he is serious! One guy said that if he had to eat his (dead) friend to survive, he would ... therefore all atheists are cannibals!!!

Reading his site he's just your bog-standard god-smacked loon, although he is a bit keener to denigrate atheists than most, as the cannibal thing shows.

1/13/2012 6:22:16 AM

OtakuX

I, what? No. Just no.

1/13/2012 6:24:01 AM

Canadiest

Isn't this one of their favorite tactics? Post some ridiculous statement about Atheists and wait for sarcastic responses (like Adey above without the bracketed definer) then claim that proves his point.

It helps that fundies are pretrained to expect the worst, even to atribute the most horrible acts as the actions of only non-Christians.

1/13/2012 6:32:07 AM



OK OK admit it; who fucking told him? Same person who spilled the beans on the gay agenda? How are we supposed to take over the world if people keep telling them our secrets?

1/13/2012 6:39:14 AM

Reynardine

Actually, I understand we're quite good when marinated with rosé, Dijon mustard, and some rosemary, but the gravy requires serious defatting, and only after doing so should you put in the new potatoes. June peas should be put in right at the end, so they're
barely cooked at all.
Addition: sorry I forgot the cracked black pepper. Coarse salt is optional.

1/13/2012 6:40:45 AM

Bollox

^ It's not much a tactic, Canadiest, as a tropism. Tactics would require a modicum of intelligence.

The best response to this kind of thing is to shrug and say 'Whatever. I couldn't care less what you think.' As well as being true, it infuriates them.

1/13/2012 6:41:01 AM

dionysus


1/13/2012 7:00:50 AM

Mister Spak

A member of the Eating a Jewish Zombie religion is accusing others of being cannibals?

1/13/2012 7:22:39 AM



I'm guessing his full name is "Poe Poe Simmons"... I hope.

1/13/2012 7:24:04 AM

Doubting Thomas

I actually LOL'ed at this one... I mean, we often joke amongst ourselves about eating babies but here's someone who actually believes it's true. Fun to actually spot this claim in the wild.

1/13/2012 7:26:16 AM

Horsefeathers

"By inviting comments and interacting with them they have done a great job of exposing the overwhelmingly agreed upon faith structure of the religion. We start the series with the most flamingly obvious doctrine Cannibalism.

Now this doctrine was revealed to me in the process of researching my fourth book, "The Great Debate". I touched on it briefly in the book but I wasn't sure if it was random, isolated cases of disgusting social dysfunction or across the board commonality among all atheists."


Wait a minute.

So you think that all atheists are cannibals?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

"Over the intervening months I have discovered, or rather it was revealed to me by the atheists, that cannibalism has been accepted into mainstream atheism as a matter of fact."

You appear quite insane.

"Allow me to read just a couple of the comments left by atheists concerning the act of eating people"

Would it make any difference if I countered with quotes from Christians that really do show that some of them are involved in ritualized cannibalism?

I'm speaking, of course, about Catholics and their crackers that magically become "god" which they then eat, but I'm sure someone as educated as yourself was aware of this.

1/13/2012 7:32:14 AM

Raised by Horses

Incidentally, Mr. PP Simmons is invited to the annual American Atheist conference this year as the guest of honor. Bring your own sauce.

1/13/2012 7:35:30 AM

rubber chicken

Atheism has a mainstream ?

1/13/2012 7:38:11 AM

= POPE =

Ritualized cannibalism:

As they were eating, Jesus took bread and gave it to the disciples. 'Take it and eat,' he said. 'This is my body.'

Then he took a cup, and handed it to them saying, 'Drink from this, all of you.' 'For this is my blood.'

And the Disciples thanked him, asking only if it was okay to dunk.

Then, if I recall correctly, Jesus indulged his thing about feet, and then they all sat around singing "Dunderbat", with all the dark verses about running out of vermin and house pets and grinding up children left in. (Jesus blood packs quite a wallop!)




1/13/2012 7:40:42 AM

Swede

'Whatever. I couldn't care less what you think.'

I'm very obedient, Bollox

1/13/2012 7:57:13 AM

Joe Mama

People... it's what's for dinner.

I think tonight I'll have some Christian friends for dinner.

"To Serve Man... It's a cookbook!"


That's all I've got.

1/13/2012 7:57:54 AM

Lpopman

Well, I'm Athiest and Vegetarian. What should I eat then, PicoPenis Simmons?

I guess I'll just have the beans and the nice ciante (thrpthrpthrpthrp) then.

*shakes head*
*sighs*

1/13/2012 8:09:08 AM

Sweet Fancy Moses

Lpopman: try the human soy substitute; it's what I eat and it's much more versatile than regular people.

1/13/2012 8:17:52 AM

ChakatBlackstar

Alright...who's been messing with the fundies for laughs this time?

1/13/2012 8:31:29 AM

J. James

Soylent Green is people and apparently I'm a cannibal. Yummy.

1/13/2012 8:56:50 AM

Alfador

Wait... atheists? Up until that point, I thought you were just bashing on Catholics for their transubstantiation thingamajigger.

1/13/2012 8:58:26 AM



lol Catholocism.

But seriously, can't let people know that atheists are pretty much exactly the same as them, can we? Otherwise they might start - le gasp! - thinking!

1/13/2012 9:13:16 AM

Philbert McAdamia

Whenever I eat an Oreo cookie, I say, "Body of Darwin -- Ramen."

1/13/2012 9:14:40 AM

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