Quote# 83040

Cryptozoology in the Bible pwns Evolution

Following is a list of animals found in the Bible:

fowled bat
four-legged grasshopper
straw-eating lions

I contend that these animals are problematic for evolutionists.

AV1611VET, ChristianForums 121 Comments [8/6/2011 5:09:52 AM]
Fundie Index: 182
Submitted By: Brettt

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I don't normally like people who answer like this, but this is the only response that I see fit:


8/6/2011 5:14:55 AM


I contend these animals are problematic for reality.

8/6/2011 5:18:45 AM

Why should fictional creatures be problematic? River Tam’s food is more problematic than these creatures.

8/6/2011 5:20:34 AM


No those animals are actually problematic for the Bible you dolt

8/6/2011 5:28:46 AM


Thats nice, "AV1611VET". These animals are ... problematic.

BTW, I always wanted to see a real living dragon. Do you know of any zoo in the world where I can see one? And if dragons are too problematic to keep in a zoo, do you know of any place in the wild where it is possible to encounter a dragon? I would be really grateful. Wait? The dragon died out at the Flood? Well, too bad. But there are surely dragon fossils anywhere to be found? No dragon fossils? How about unicorn fossils? Anyway, the unicorn is the most purest and innocent of all animals, as I am told. Why then did the unicorn die out at the Flood? If not, it must surely be possible to see a real unicorn anywhere. My 7yr old daughter would really like to see one. Perhaps you know where we can find alive unicorns?

(how many more sarcasm tags should I use?)

8/6/2011 5:30:09 AM


Except that none of those things exist. That should demonstrate that the Bible is NOT, in fact, inerrant.

8/6/2011 5:30:41 AM


Not so problematic seeing as they don't appear to exist anywhere but print. Even if they did exist there's probably niches their purported biology fills out nicely.

Though shit man, if there were dragons? I'd wrangle one and ride him everywhere. I'd name him Counterpoint and burninate my enemies. I'd read him stories every day and feed him a steady diet of unicorns and love... and maybe some hemp brownies just to see what happens.

8/6/2011 5:32:47 AM


When he says shit like this I start to suspect that our beloved "AV1611VET" is working a long-term and elaborate poe act...

8/6/2011 5:39:57 AM


I too feel the 'Vet is beginning to out himself as a Poe act. I mean, fowled bat? C'mon.

8/6/2011 5:57:06 AM


Eeep, double post.

8/6/2011 5:58:02 AM


To quote many on the internet: "LOLWUT?"

8/6/2011 6:05:02 AM

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

No problem at all. Bring forth one of each animal, a mating pair would be even better, and we'll take it from there.
I'm sure we'll be waiting just as long as we are for proof that evolution is a lie.

8/6/2011 6:24:58 AM


"I contend that these animals are problematic for evolutionists."

I contend that they are problematic for anyone living in reality.

8/6/2011 6:35:45 AM


Dear Jesus, if you really do exist, do miracles and stuff and want people to go to heaven would you please grant AV1611VET the wisdom to either shut up or make arguments that have any chance whatsoever of convincing anyone.

He's making you and yours a laughingstock


8/6/2011 6:37:31 AM


8/6/2011 6:38:57 AM

Zeus Almighty

"four-legged grasshopper"

You know that when you pull off two of their legs they die, right?


Well, I hope Noah had a tub to place leviathan in so he could run him through repeatedly with his sword.
Also, were there any McDonald's around at that time where Noah could pick up some angels?

8/6/2011 6:43:41 AM


They're about as problematic as pixies and elves, I suppose.

8/6/2011 6:45:22 AM


They aren't a problem because they don't exist and there is no proof that they ever did.

8/6/2011 6:47:03 AM

D Laurier

You are an idiot.

8/6/2011 7:00:51 AM


And I contend that they never existed in the first place.

Bats are mammals, no amount of wishing or belief will give an insect less than six legs, lions are carnivores, and dragons, satyrs and unicorns don't fucking exist and never did. And neither did Behemoth and Leviathan. Or that other really big thing that was the aerial equivalent, whatever it was called.

8/6/2011 7:03:12 AM


Yes, yes, because all these creatures really did exist once upon a time in your delusional mind. Fucktwit.

8/6/2011 7:03:36 AM

Doubting Thomas

Uh, yeah, they sure do. But only if you could prove they exist.

8/6/2011 7:26:53 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

And don't forget the talking snakes!

Not to mention the talking asses (of which AV1611VET is a prime example, or possibly he's a member of the subspecies — the typing asses that inhabit the Internet).

BTW, does Moses's burning bush pwn plant evolution?

8/6/2011 7:30:50 AM

Mister Spak

This has to be a joke. Not even fundies are this stupid.

8/6/2011 7:41:32 AM


I believe AV1611VET is a fictional character created by a well-established poe author looking for the best satire on homeschooled kids in the Southern states. We should be honoured that this author is testing out his creation on us.

He is a made up character, isn't he?


Crikey, I hope I'm right. Otherwise humanity is failing.

8/6/2011 7:45:12 AM

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