The 'Spit Take' Award

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Quote# 78544

BTW... is there any chance of applying the Lemon Law to slavery? I'd like my money back.

chuck in st paul, Moonbattery 33 Comments [1/5/2011 8:53:41 AM]
Fundie Index: 64
Submitted By: Honky McCracker

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Doubting Thomas

Seeing as how it's illegal to own another human being, and has been for the past 145 years or so, should the authorities be contacted to speak with you?

1/5/2011 9:39:18 AM



1/5/2011 9:47:14 AM


Why? You had slaves?

1/5/2011 9:53:57 AM


Odds are that your ancestors never owned any slaves to start with, and that they were instead some dirt poor goobers who would have been looked down upon by the slaves in the South as 'poor white trash'. No refund.

1/5/2011 9:55:00 AM

Brendan Rizzo

This HAS to be a Poe. NO ONE can be that hateful and stupid.

...It isn't a Poe, is it?

1/5/2011 10:42:32 AM


HI! Thanks for admitting to being involved in human trafficking! You win a free trip to your nearest maximum security facility!

1/5/2011 12:13:13 PM


Lemme guess, Chuck. You're "not racist" and "have black friends".

1/5/2011 2:49:05 PM

Joe Mama

And they wonder why people think they're racist?

1/5/2011 5:05:36 PM


Okay, but they'll have to be in their original package and you'll need to show a receipt.

1/5/2011 5:41:55 PM

Percy Q. Shunn

If you return your defective slave by February 15, you can avoid the mandatory 20% restocking fee.

1/5/2011 8:49:46 PM


Owning slaves is illegal, which means you don't get refunds. Just FYI.

1/5/2011 10:14:14 PM

Yama the Space Fish

Moonbattery is in fact a secret Nazi base on the moon.

1/6/2011 10:26:03 AM

It's illegal to own another person. Would you like to be treated like an animal?

1/7/2011 10:37:30 AM

Tolpuddle Martyr

Why, did you break the human being you bought by abusing them too much?


1/7/2011 3:34:40 PM

Table Rock

Sorry, the warranty was voided because of neglect, improper use and abuse.

1/7/2011 5:40:31 PM


"Excuse me, I would like to return these two slaves. They're obviously defective.

When I informed the first one that I was his Great White Master, he convulsed with entirely inappropriate laughter. That was two days ago, and he hasn't stopped yet.

The second is even worse: When I ordered him to go mow my lawn, he somehow misunderstood my command as 'Please force me to eat my own lawnmower a piece at a time.'

What's that? I can only get store credit? You quit giving refunds in 1865? I demand to see your manager!"

1/7/2011 9:32:34 PM

Very well.
Just deliver your defective slave to your local dealer.

1/8/2011 5:53:59 AM


What alternate dimension does this guy come from?!

Gotta be a troll or a creepy human trafficker, there's no other rational explanation!

1/8/2011 9:31:17 AM


Considering that slavery has been banned for over a hundred years. No.

1/8/2011 11:33:53 AM

Kevin Klawitter

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that not all of us Minnesotans are as insane as ol' chuck.

Just sayin'

1/8/2011 4:25:01 PM


Indeed!...Minnesotans also cranked out my fave classic cult comedy show in the world, too, for example!


Don't worry,'re cool.

1/9/2011 7:14:39 AM

Reverend Jeremiah

Moonbattery - Now with 25% more moonbatshittery than ever!!!

1/9/2011 1:09:16 PM


Is there any way to apply the Lemon Law to ignorant bigots like chuck? People like him don't deserve to be citizens of this country. Oh... Moonbattery...never mind! We'd need a Lemon law for all the Moonbats, too.

1/10/2011 1:44:16 PM


Where the bats go to shit.

1/10/2011 9:53:44 PM


Only after you try to apply the lemon law to your brain. It seems to be missing, which is a definate quality control issue.

1/11/2011 11:00:59 AM

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