I sit before my keyboard drinking tea, ruminating and occasionally pressing finger tips to keys. I have cause to let my mind wander over the events and non-events of 2009. Once again, as in previous years, a major event of 2009 was God's refusal to give take-off clearance to His Rapturous air force of Christ, thereby turning it, once more into a minor non-event.
Yet again the chubby bombers and screeching dogfighters could do no more than let their engines turn over to keep them from seizing up as the frustrated pilots were resigned to being grounded for a further year, perhaps, and to making sure that they had their clean underwear on.
Maybe 2010 will be the year for these brave suicide aviators who long for the day when, to the mighty fanfare of massed heavenly trumpets, they can die in a glorious multiple ascension toward the returning waist. Arms outstretched zombie-like as they clamour arduously and rapturously in their soaring death throes, manic in their madcap flights to be among the first to rise to crotch level.
Groinal adoration accomplished, the determined flight, their naked bodies gleaming in the bright light of heaven's portal, whoosh joyously on to an eternity of mansion dwelling. While we earth bound observers can only look to the sky in awe, stomping and cheering, with only a few soiled undergarments, initially caught up in the exuberant massed rocket blasts, dropping back to the ground with desultory plops. One last cheer for the flight of the dead as the magnificent aerial ballet comes to a sad end before executing an exciting final whoosh home.
We will be sad to an see an end to the moribund home-os, although the unneeded underwear can be given away to charity. Of course it may never happen in 2010 anyway. "Of course no one knows." Well of course no one knows. But we can make a reasonably good case for the probability of its happening, or not, based on the events and the non-events of the previous 2000 years.
