Latest News on Airborne Aerosol Psychomimetic Drug Dispersion.
A special EPA HAZMAT team has been rushed to San Francisco International Airport to contain leakage from a China Airlines Cargo plane forced to land because of instrument damage caused by stray gunfire from an abortive hijack attempt by apparent Uighar dissidents stowed away before the plane’s take-off from the Fijian republic of the Republic of Fiji.
HAZMAT team technicians on the scene say that the leakage appears to be a blue-colored liquid coming from massive internal tanks separate from the sanitation system of the aircraft and apparently unrelated to the on-board toilets. The technicians surmise that the leakage developed due to stray bullets puncturing the massive internal tanks fired during the attempted take-over attempt.
Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officials have ordered a cordon set up around the airport by the San Mateo County Parking and Traffic Enforcement Bureau (SMCPTEB) which has responded by turning away all incoming automobiles, and citing and impounding all vehicles currently parked at the airport.
Nine Uighar hijackers have been taken into custody and confined under guard in a nearby hospital after they fell unconscious onto the tarmac after breathing fumes from the blue liquid leakage.
ICE officials say that the original flight plans for the airplane list its final destination as China Lake in Nevada. One official who commented on the condition of anonymity because of the ongoing investigation said, “I told you this would happen.”
Early on during the incident, technicians complained about feelings of sleepiness and vibrating tongues, a sure sign of thorazine intoxication possibly infused into the blue liquid and outgassing into the area. Emergency hypodermic injections of lysergic acid diethylamide-25 were administered to the technicians which returned the technicians to a mentally alert state and stopped their wagging tongues and unofficial comments.
Investigators from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) at a hastily organized press conference, theorized that the plane was on its way to deliver the cargo of liquid (no other cargo was on the plane) to a clandestine domestic warfare unit based at China Lake. The liquid, a new development by the People’s Republic of China (PRC), had received a dark blue tint making it impossible to see as it was injected into the contrails of jet airliners under contract to the Department of Defense (DOD) to disseminate aerosoled fluoride to non-compliant communities in the US as part of the new Universal Health Care Program. Preliminary analysis of the liquid revealed no fluoride but did find significant levels of thorazine, chlorpromazine, monosodium glutamate, and other as yet unidentified psychomimetic drugs.
Ten minutes into the press conference, the FBI spokesman’s speech was interrupted by a telephone call from the White House, at which point the spokesman ended the conference with the words “No Comment.”
This reporter seldom makes comments on the stories he covers, but in this case, makes an exception to say that everything is under control. There is nothing to fear. Your government is in full control of the situation. Any rumors you may have heard are simply that, rumors without any basis.
Go to your homes and watch the TV for updates on this story and needed information to deal with it.
©Internet Paranoia News 2009