Quote# 55545

[On a graph showing number of people killed by God vs. by Satan in the Bible.]

God killed the people during the flood that were under the influence of Satan so it’s Satan’s fault that God killed them. :P

Klishu, Graphjam 41 Comments [1/3/2009 6:42:26 PM]
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solomongrundy

Wahhhhhhahhhhhhhhahhhhhhh!
That's just stupid with brass knobs on.

Incidentally the graph I'm familiar with doesn't include the Great Flood, Sodom and Gomorrah or the deaths of the Egyptian first-borns as there aren't any figures given in the Bible for those particular genocides.

1/3/2009 6:45:47 PM

Mrs. Antichrist

My friend was being a bitch, so really, it's her fault that I drowned her in the river.

1/3/2009 6:50:42 PM

xplicit_UK

Aah, the old "why do you make me hit you?" excuse used by abusive husbands, dictators and deities through the ages.

1/3/2009 6:55:03 PM

John

If God is omnipotent, then nothing is Satan's fault. God let it happen.

1/3/2009 6:58:38 PM

Dark_Lord_Prime

"God killed the people during the flood that were under the influence of Satan so it’s Satan’s fault that God killed them."

Because, as ever, your god is completely powerless to do anything of his own free will.

I will never understand why you people choose to believe in and worship such an impotent weenie.

1/3/2009 7:08:40 PM



The same argument use the wife beaters. Apparently, nobody, including God, has free will.

1/3/2009 7:09:36 PM

Grigadil

If there's an actual dichotomy here, Satan has been demonstrated to be the good guy, the voice of freedom, and the old 'god' fart as a true Chaos creature, a selfish and hostile ego from the Dark Side.

1/3/2009 7:21:47 PM

The Outsider

Look what you made me do!!!

1/3/2009 7:24:39 PM

Mister Spak

But if Satan killed people because they were doing what god said, it would be gods fault that Satan killed them?


1/3/2009 7:33:06 PM

aaa

Worst excuse i have ever heard.

1/3/2009 7:36:27 PM



The :P at the end just kills me. L-fucking-O-L! That God, he's just such a merry prankster! :P

1/3/2009 7:39:09 PM

WMDKitty

Oh, fucking hell. It's clear to anyone with a functioning brain that the Judeo-Christo-Islamic "God" is a fucking psychopathic murderer.

Saying "they were under Satan's influence, so it's Satan's fault" is like saying, "well, I got drunk at [local bar], wrapped my car around a tree, so it's [local bar]'s fault!" No fucking sense of responsibility at all!

Shit, if that's how their "god" thinks, it's no wonder they're all a bunch of fucking morons!

1/3/2009 7:53:36 PM

storymoron

According to the story of the flood, every person in the world was evil, except for Noah and his family. So Satan must have been doing one heckuva job.

1/3/2009 8:03:39 PM

Berny

And yet your god continues to allow Satan the run of the place. Why do you worship the impotent bastard?

1/3/2009 8:04:13 PM

a mind far far away

Cop-out. You're under the influence of idiocy, does that mean we should strap you into a chair at a public school and force you to learn? Wait, that's not such a bad idea.

1/3/2009 8:35:41 PM

Giveitaday

God killed the people during the flood that were under the influence of Satan so it’s Satan’s fault that God killed them. :P

So basically you are saying that Satan is more powerful than your "god" because he can force your "god" to do something he otherwise would not have done? Your "god" is a little wanker bitch. If he were as powerful as you claim then why couldn't he just remove satans influence from them? Why does he allow satan to exist in the first place? Why would a all powerful "god" allow a being he created to corrupt what you claim is his favorite creation? Sounds like you're "god" is functionally impotent and therefore unworthy of worship.

1/3/2009 8:38:56 PM

Thejebusfire

I don't think Satan influenced anyone. Satan is the most evil creature in the whole story. Don't you think he would have better things to do then make have gay sex or become atheist?

God lost touch with his "children" that was his own damn fault.

1/3/2009 8:39:59 PM

Reverend Jeremiah

Yeah, because god is so weak and unable to deal properly with satan..its definitely that devils fault!

1/3/2009 9:03:42 PM

FMG

And God created Satan thus making the ultimate responsibility in his "hands".

1/3/2009 9:22:28 PM

Cabraxas

So, by your own argument, the whole damn world except one family was under the influence of Satan? He sounds a lot more popular than your god,,, no wonder he threw his toys out of the cot and killed everyone.

1/3/2009 9:28:42 PM

myheadhurts

Why not go after the source -you know Satan? God still killed em.

1/3/2009 10:37:17 PM

Percy Q. Shun

"Percy Q. Shun killed Klishu because Klishu was a first-rate moron, and thusly, a complete drag on humanity. Therefore, it's Klishu's fault that Percy Q. Shun killed him."

I like the way that sounds!

1/3/2009 10:53:47 PM

Titan Uranus

@ #887507 thats what cracked me up, how can you argue with the ":P"???

1/3/2009 11:02:03 PM

Old Viking

Every infant at a mother's breast was under Satan's influence? Wow! What about the animals and all the rest of earth's living creatures? Satan?

1/3/2009 11:13:09 PM

Starscream

So their almighty God is all-powerful and righteous in everything he does.... except for the bad things he does, which are Satan's fault. RIIIIIGHT...

1/3/2009 11:45:27 PM

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