Ok, heres my biblical layout.
____________/
45 comments
A breif was between the armies of heaven and "a vast army coming from the east", the army of the east is lead my Satan
What in Kahless' Beard does this even fucking mean???
Wow, your very own satan? That's just too fuckin' cool!
By the way, jebus saw you say that!
See you in hell, MOTHERFUCKER! HAHAHAHAHA....
Oh, and you are a goddamn retard.
"A breif was" do you mean a brief war?
Did heaven's army have briefs and Satan's boxers?
In that timeless war I pick boxers:)
This idiot thinks the Battle of Armageddon is supposed to happen AFTER the 2nd coming of Jesus and the millennium of peace.
He seems to have missed the fact that Armageddon is from Revelation 16, and the Millennium of peace is from Revelation 20 -- i.e. Armageddon happens BEFORE the thousand years of peace.
Rev. 20 does talk about a final brief war against Satan following the Millennium of Peace, but this war is NOT the Battle of Armageddon.
A breif was between the armies of heaven and "a vast army coming from the east", the army of the east is lead my Satan
Hi MightyDante
Ok, heres my biblical layout.
1) Fundies disappear
2) Everyone cheers & wild celebrations begin.
3) The world finally becomes civilised.
The End
Ya know I kinda like mine better.
Is that supposed to be strata in a geological column or am I supposed to fill in the blank fields?
Plus, the general theory of relativity makes a "bottomless pit" an impossibility... unless you're talking about a black hole.
"3.5 years of vast war and smite "
Next world war will last twenty minutes, tops.
@kingoftheheavies
Jebus wouldn't have really cared. He'd have just gotten drunk off of cheap wine.
Is 3.5 years of false peace the same thing as 3.5 years of peace? What's with the "false" bit?
Also, in the English language, smite is not a noun.
"my Satan"
The Bible never actually says anything about Armageddon. It just sort of stops after Satan gets imprisoned in the pit for "1,000 years of peace".
I read it and thought "What happens after that? Finish the fucking story!"
@The Jamo:"the general theory of relativity makes a "bottomless pit" an impossibility... unless you're talking about a black hole."
You've seen those "The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit" episodes of Doctor Who?
____________/what the______ \**** are______ /these____________ |lines for?______ | God acting like some lovechild of Hitler and Mao
So we need an army East of Israel.
Ok children, get out your atlases and try and find a country East of Israel that has an army in it.
ummm...I thought satan was in the pit. FUCK! How many times is satan going to get tossed into the pit and escape again? This is the same god that bosts of being all powerful? Why the FUCK cant he keep satan in the pit?
OH YEAH.. BECAUSE ITS A FUCKTARDED MYTH THAT ISNT EVEN WRITTEN WELL!
*siiiiiigh*
Why oh why does the fundie crowd insist that a combination of Biblical fanfiction and John's bad shroom trip is, like, totally going to occur?
Having said that - I totally cracked my shit reading this. A++++ lulz, will rofl again.
Ok, heres my bullshit biblical layout.
____________/
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
