Quote# 46257

[next to a picture of a little girl trick-or-treating]

What would Jesus drop into her pumpkin?

Would Jesus run off to church or hide back in the TV room with the front lights off?...

Or would He use this golden opportunity to share His love with her?

Jack Chick, Chick Publications 51 Comments [8/31/2008 6:54:31 PM]
Fundie Index: 18

Username  (Login)
Comment  (Text formatting help) 

1 2 3 | bottom

Tom S. Fox

*bumps this quote out of oblivion*

10/3/2008 6:36:37 PM


He'd probably give some blood and body parts. I don't think they'd be very fresh though.

10/3/2008 6:43:04 PM


Give the kid a Milky way, you asshole.

10/3/2008 7:09:52 PM

Carbonated Margarine

What would Jesus drop into her pumpkin?


Or would He use this golden opportunity to share His love with her?


10/3/2008 7:16:37 PM


oh yes...I'm sure he'd "share his love with her"

...especially if she was a cutie !

10/3/2008 7:18:24 PM


the pix was kind of, well, I thought of pedophiles. I also read the comic First Bite where a woman converts a vampire. Right. The Chosen One is called 'Igor.' What's disturbing is that people truly believe his garbage. Igor. LMAO!

10/3/2008 7:34:26 PM


Or...maybe...he'd have some fun.

10/3/2008 7:52:29 PM


Eeeew...sounds creepy.

10/3/2008 7:58:23 PM

Maybe Jesus would just mind his own business or wish her a "Happy Halloween." You could try that.

10/3/2008 10:48:54 PM


No comment.

10/3/2008 11:17:16 PM

Professor Cold Heart

What's that girl dressed as anyway? I think she's some kind of cheerleader, unless that pompom-like thing is actually spaghetti. Bride of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

10/7/2008 6:51:36 PM


Halloween is pagan. Jesus would dump her candy on the sidewalk and tell her she was going to hell.

10/7/2008 7:28:01 PM


@ myheadhurts:

Actually, it's a Christian tradition (!!!). Halloween was originally called All Hallow's Eve; just before the Feast of All Saints is the last time evil spirits can freely roam the Earth before being pushed back to Hell by the combined power of all saints.

Watch Disney's Fantasia again: right after Mussorgsky's Night on Bald Mountain, where the Devil minion's revelry is cut short at the first stroke of midnight by a church bell, comes Schubert's Ave Maria...

No, I don't expect Fundies to understand this.

Besides, horrible monsters from the pits of Hell have also benefited from our civilizing influence: at first, they forcefully snatched our souls, but now, they kindly ask for candy.

10/7/2008 11:04:48 PM


Puh-lease ya loser, Jesus would come to the door dressed as Merlin from "The Sword and the Stone," drop some candy into her pumpkin, and tell her to have fun the rest of the night and be careful.

10/7/2008 11:39:48 PM

Tired Christian

This is quite as bad as it seems...but damn is that a poor choice of words.

@Alethe: All Hallow's eve, heh. That reminds me of all hallows Steve (best legomation eva)

10/8/2008 1:04:05 AM

El Guapo

What would Jesus do, indeed?

10/8/2008 2:37:29 PM

Probably not Chick tracts. Those things are awful.

10/9/2008 5:55:27 AM

Kris Kringle

This gives me a new exclamation..."Jumping Jesus in a pumpkin!!"

10/9/2008 6:23:01 AM



Nah, doesn't have the same ring to it.

10/9/2008 6:35:12 AM


LOL Christ-Rape

11/24/2008 10:34:00 PM


Wow, way to make Jesus sound like a freaking pedophile.

8/4/2009 8:50:14 PM


Jesus would probably heal that leukemia she's about to get diagnosed with next week...Im just sayin...Jesus probably sees the big picture, being an omniscient deity and all.

8/4/2009 9:33:22 PM


yes, christ is a loli lover

10/1/2009 10:53:58 AM


I thnk Jesus would rather have a little boy.

10/1/2009 3:28:58 PM

How come the term "pumpkin" seems so metaphorical? D:

10/1/2009 4:37:34 PM

1 2 3 | top: comments page