Quote# 44204

[Uh oh, better get right with God soon guyz!!]



POSSIBLE DATES OF END-TIME EVENTS

PRE-TRIB RAPTURE, FIRST "TRUMP OF GOD"
Before the Tribulation starts, maybe Av 10, 5768 (Monday, August 11, 2008. Let's be ready from now until it takes place.

TEMPLE CONSTRUCTION BEGINS
Sacrifice of the red heifer when she is four years old (she is past 3.5 now)
Priests, purified with the ashes of the red heifer, should start building the Temple soon after the Rapture.

THE BEGINNING OF THE TRIBULATION, 1ST SEAL
PENTECOST, Sivan 6, 5769 (Friday, May 29, 2009) Beginning of the 2300 days of Dan. 8:12-14 (Jewish inclusive reckoning).
The first beast of Rev. 13 will reign. The Peace Treaty will be in effect.

MID TRIB, 4TH SEAL
The 1260th day, Heshvan 23, 5773 (Thursday, Nov. 8, 2012, by Inclusive reckoning). The False Prophet will begin his reign.

PRE-WRATH RAPTURE, "LAST TRUMP" OF GOD
END OF SHORTENED TRIBULATION, 7TH SEAL
2300th day of the Tribulation
It should be the FEAST OF TRUMPETS, Tishri 1, 5776 (Sunday night or Monday, September 14, 2015), the DAY OF THE PRE-WRATH RAPTURE, the DAY OF THE LORD, and the DAY OF GOD'S WRATH
The 7 Trumpet judgments will be sounded by angels, not God

THE SEVEN-MONTH GAP (Eze. 38:18-20; 39:12,13)

THE SECOND ADVENT OF JESUS, LORD OF THE SABBATH, PROBABLY ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE REGNAL AND SACRED YEAR
7 months after the Day of God's Wrath in a Hebrew Leap Year,
Nisan 1, 5776 (the Saturday Sabbath, April 9, 2016)

Marilyn Agee, http://www.prophecycorner.com 38 Comments [8/4/2008 1:41:24 PM]
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Lectora

Bad fiction.

8/4/2008 1:45:33 PM

Dylan

Someone keep track of this *not me lol*, so we can mark them all off as the dates come up. Then we'll email them with tons of snark. ;D

8/4/2008 1:48:01 PM

Happymealungen

What? We have to wait unto 2016 until we may mock you? I prefer the RR crowd.

8/4/2008 1:48:41 PM

Ponder

Y'know, 'good' prophets at least make sure their predictions are either so far in the future, they'll probably be dead and forgotten when they come to pass, or don't give a definitive date at all, relying on 'signs' and such that can be interpreted multiple ways....

This one, we just have to wait a *week* and then we can go make fun of her when she's proven wrong... Once the 11'th rolls by, no rupture = false prophecy.

$100 says she still believes in this Rapture bull after her date comes and goes.

8/4/2008 1:52:06 PM

Grigadil

Marilyn, did you pay the mandatory $1M prophecy deposit?

8/4/2008 1:53:59 PM

JonnyTruant

And if none of this happens, does it mean we can finally call bullshit and you guys will shut the hell up?

8/4/2008 2:04:16 PM

Allegory for Jesus

So, the Rapture will happen anywhere from 2 weeks from now to 8 years from now. Good to see that you have such a precise time scale.

8/4/2008 2:04:24 PM

Cap'n Mel

Marilyn, you have far too much time on your hands. Why don't you do something constructive? How about whittling? Whittle me a statue of Jesus jacking off.

Plzkthnxbai.

8/4/2008 2:05:54 PM

Smith

Nah, the first major thing we could make fun of you for is in like a year. Change your dates.

8/4/2008 2:19:43 PM

Safaraz

"The Peace Treaty will be in effect."

I love how the fundies idea of hell on earth includes world peace, says a lot about them really.

8/4/2008 2:24:40 PM

I usurped God.

Next Monday, huh? Does that mean that I'll get a day off work?

8/4/2008 2:29:26 PM

Eden

I wonder, how many people in africa could be saved from starvation if these rapturists would spend the time they nowadays waste in fantasizing about the rapture into doing real work and donating the money they earned this way to humanitarian organizations.

8/4/2008 2:32:50 PM

Canadiest

arbitrary bullshit

8/4/2008 2:35:12 PM

Horsefeathers

Has anyone ever thought about maybe starting a fundy lotto? You know, pick six calendar dates that the next gibbering fundy will claim is the time frame of the Rapture and win some money...

8/4/2008 2:36:36 PM

kingoftheheavies

It's gonna be hard to remain attentive, with those dates so far into the future.

I know there will be truckloads of fail before then, so we have that.

8/4/2008 3:03:22 PM

Elphaba

wonder how many will stay home from work next Monday?


8/4/2008 3:08:31 PM

Ash

Shit cubes much?

8/4/2008 3:10:57 PM

Alcari

No, we don't have to wait that long:
PRE-TRIB RAPTURE -- Monday, August 11, 2008

That's just one week. I think we can remember our mockery that long.

8/4/2008 3:17:39 PM

Benjamin328

Being a Christian, I easily deny this. The Bible says that no man can know the date of the end. Any predictions made, I know, are false.

8/4/2008 3:49:44 PM

Whoever

What I want to know is - who is the red heifer, and how do you know she's past 3.5 years now?

8/4/2008 3:55:17 PM

Amanda

See you there! :D

8/4/2008 4:13:40 PM

aaa

Unless LHC goes boom.

8/4/2008 4:24:31 PM

Lainey

Hey, the first one's my birthday! Neat!

8/4/2008 4:55:51 PM

Ozzie

Oh - Saturday, April 9, 2016 - that's not a good day for me, I have plans. Could you ask Jesus if he could hold off a week or so? Thanks.




What happened to Dec 21, 2012?

8/4/2008 5:47:17 PM

myheadhurts

So, basically, you don't know when the fuck its supposed to happen?

8/4/2008 6:04:25 PM

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