The non-denominational church we attended until recently NEVER did an end-times sermon, or a rapture sermon. Haw sad is that? Lots and lots of "Purpose Driven Life" stuff though......see why we don't go there anymore?
58 comments
Yeah, I see, since so many of you can't wait to die, or be raptured into Heaven, and you wouldn't know what to do with a "Purpose Driven Life".
I'll say it again: Death Cult.
Let's see:
Sermon 1: "your life has a purpose and you should get off your butt and fulfill it",
Sermon 2 "you're all going to be raptured soon, so sit around and do nothing".
I can see why some loser would prefer sermon 2.
Don't get me wrong, The Purpose-Driven Life is pretty stupid, but for a different reason.
I was almost named Zelda (after Zelda Fitzgerald, not Legend of Zelda). Right now, I'm really happy that I wasn't so I don't have to share this woman's name.
"see why we don't go there anymore?"
Yeah, because you're obsessed with death while they'd rather enjoy living.
That is because, you ignorant dolt, this "Rapture" crap was invented by some man, and you are too stupid to figure that out.
Because they told you to get off your ass and help the less fortunate?
Your right, it's much better you stay in your house praying for Jesus to cum come inside you.
For real?! The pastor never threatened you, described horrific atrocities, or cherished natural disasters? You were never terrified? He never made you afraid, never gave you nightmares?
How very, very sad.
The non-denominational church we attended until recently NEVER did an end-times sermon, or a rapture sermon. Haw sad is that? Lots and lots of "Purpose Driven Life" stuff though......see why we don't go there anymore?
Yeah, I can totally see why being in the presence of reasonable christians who don't constantly focus on death and destruction would be really bizarre to you. I bet they also preached about Jesus' love and how we should all be kind to one another, didn't they?
:: fundies shuddering at the suggestion ::
OOooooooooooohhhhh...freaky.
Yeah, I dont blame you. I dont go there anymore either. I prefer to stay home on sunday mornings to rub chocolate all over my naked, hairy man boobies while staring a pictures of Michael Jackson fingering my self.
www.jesuschristarcade.com
Keep in mind that the dispensationalists do NOT think of themselves as death-obsessed. At least, not in the sense of desirous-of-death. Better to think of them as obsessed with never tasting death. So not only do they not think of themselves as deathseekers, but they regard themselves as more focused on life--because they're after uninterrupted life--than anyone else.
Still...as one author pointed out, why do they think they're fit to never be in martyrdom's line of fire? Or...do they secretly feel they couldn't endure that? Not just martyrdom proper, mind you, but the potential of suffering it...
see why we don't go there anymore?
Because they're too sane for your taste? Mind you, based on the wikipedia articles this Purpose Driven Life thing does seem rather invasive and a bit loopy to an atheist like me, but it is still better than wallowing in hate and arrogance while masturbating about the Crapture like you lot do.
Because you can't be bothered to go out and live your life?
Because they didn't pander to your doomsday fap fiction?
Because they encourage people to be happy in the now, as opposed to shuffling about looking to the sky?
Yeah, fuck all that positive, life-affirming bullshit, I want me some good old-fashioned death, destruction and plagues! IN YOUR FACE, BITCHES!!!
Yeah, because Jesus spent so much time telling the original Christians about the end of the world, and never ever advised them on how to live their lives.
No, wait.... it was pretty much the exact opposite.
I'm no fan of Rick Warren's theology, either, but I'd take a million of his sermons over one of what ZeldaCA seems to want.
Fellow FSTDT'ers...this doesn't make the "Purpose Driven Life" any better than the Raptards. Joel Osteen is as much a tool as anyone in the religion business today. He still tries to convince people to give him money so that they can spend eternity with the invisible man in the sky and, as such, is a fucking moron.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
