A friend of mine burps all the time. Another friend says that it is a demon coming out. Is this possible or is this utter non-sense?
46 comments
If it were farts, I might wonder, particularly if they smell really bad.
Otherwise, just tell your friend to slow down a bit when he eats or drinks; this should solve the problem.
Can you possibly be any stupider?
Oh, no, not the dreaded Burping Demon! Run for it ... no, wait, hold on ... Burping Demon? Not exactly Asmodeus, is he? Easily defeated with bicarb, probably.
But all true Christians know that the only reason for burping is so as not to ignite the methane that is emitted. There is already one St. Joan of Arc - (Noah's Daughter, for the uninitiated). There cannot, therefore be another.
Possibly. Or he could try enzyme supplements and a change of diet. Y'know, just to rule it out.
Also, SSJPunk wins an internet
I pastored a charismatic church for a while, and yes, this bizarre teaching did make the rounds...
OK, Yes, they are demons:
A. Burping - Lower demons, less power, just annoying
B. farting - mid level Demons, more annoying and have the ability to clear a room.
C. Cum - high lever demons - be careful with these ones because they feel really good when they come out, and because of this, there is a great danger of inviting them back in, over and over again, just to cast them out over and over again.
maanantai@#367759
Everything is possible. Except skiing though revolving doors, but that's another story.
BWAHAHAHAH!
*wince* snorting wine through one's nose hurts ... That is brilliant . It would make a truly wonderful sig.
Well, it probably depends if you had Korn flakes for breakfast...
Burps tend not to be demons... Now farts... Farts are about 80% swallowed air, and about 20% waste product from bacteria. Bacteria cause many of the illnesses that Jesus called demonic, so farts are about 20% demonic on the Jesus scale. After all he did say it's not what goes into a man that defiles him, but what comes out!
I guess that makes acidophilus some kind of archangel.
No, there's no burp demons, but if you do something unexpected while compiling your code, you might wind up with them coming out of your nose. (The ANSI C committee tried to suppress it, but the phenomenon of nasal demons is well known.)
When it's a burp it's a lesser demon.
When it's a fart it's Lucifer himself, hence the smell of brimstone . . .
I vote Utter Nonsense about the demon thing.
...As for your friend, it's either gas. In this case, an over-the-counter medicine could help.
Yes it is a demon. Try taking a charcoal tablet or something.
For the really evil anal farting demon, try a butt plug.
Has anyone actually considered that some people are too stupid even for religion?
Naw, scratch that argument, it's the manipulators (priests, pope, etc.) target audience.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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