Wouldn't it be great if the troops were all handed out bibles as part of their protection gear?
109 comments
You what else would be great? If you...
*Cliche police burst through my door*
Officer- Were you about to say shut up?
Me-*Looks down in shame* Yes.
Officer- Don't worry, we aren't going to lock you up, at least not this time, here, have this book of non cliches to use.
*Cliche police departs*
Listen IB, if my copy of Darkly Dreaming Dexter didn't save my ass that one time at the anti-death penalty conference, your book isn't going to save someone in Iraq
No, I perfer that they be given Dragon Skin armor so they have a better chance of coming home alive.
Bibles are useless against IEDs.
It wouldn't help protect them, trust me.
Bullet versus Bible = Bullet in a Bible, and trust me: this version wouldn't be nearly as entertaining as the album of the same name.
Also: what about all the troops who aren't Christian? During my tour, at least a third of the soldiers I met were Muslim and at least a quarter were Atheists.
Even if the bible did offer mystical protection capabilities, how would we go about bestowing that same protection upon every soldier?
Funny how sophisticated we in the West think we are....some African tribes believe that witchdoctor muti can protect them against bullets (it doesn't), and we scoff at them. How is believing that a Bible will protect you from consequences of modern warfare any different??
US education system needs a major overhaul - what a numbskull
Wouldn't it be great if the troops were all handed out bibles as part of their protection gear?"
Sure, if you want them to all die.
Shoot, if any soldier (sailor, airman, marine) wants a bible, he just has to mention it to the chaplain. Chaplains pass them out like candy, they get them by the ton. They can't give them away faster than they get donated. Chaplains try to give them away, then dump them on the librarians, who dump them in the ocean when no one's looking.
If the troops want them, they can get them. They don't. They would like the protective gear they can't get, though.
I have been told that soldiers drop off copies of the Geneva Convention as useless weight when they go fighting. I imagine the Bible would be much the same.
But as an aside, medieval knights figured out that God's favour in battle is eerily proportionate to the fighter's skill at fighting.
When I was there I did not have sappy plates(metal in my flack jacket), armor for my vehical, enough food, enough water, working M.O.P. suit(for bio/chemical warfare), sight tip for my m-16, O-jive plunger for my 40MM, anything better than 1st gen night vision in my turret,...I could continue.
And you want to waste money on a fucking book!
I have no problem with any soldier wha wants one being given a bible. And every soldier who wants one should be given a Koran. And every soldier who wants one should be given a (insert any holy book here) should be provided with one. Bloody hell, any soldier who wants to march into war carrying a copy of Green Eggs and Ham should be provided with it.
I also think that if any soldier doesn't want a bible, but is forced to take one anyway should be allowed to throw it at your face. And any soldier who doesn't want a Koran, but...
Tell ya what. Let's give all the christian soldiers bibles, and all the non-christian soldiers armor.
And hell, if they convert, they can trade equipment in.
Um, no. One, it won't stop a bullet. Two, it contains useless information. Three, soldiers already have enough to carry. Four, reading during a running gun battle is not advisable. Five, not all soldiers are christians. (BTW: Would IB also support handing out copies of other holy texts to the non-christians? Somehow, I don't think so.)
Tell ya what. Let's give all the christian soldiers bibles, and all the non-christian soldiers armor.
And hell, if they convert, they can trade equipment in.
Now that's what I call putting your money where your mouth is - choose bible or body armour, but not both!
KJV vs AK47 , you choose.
I thought it was "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" not "Praise the Lord and Pass the Bable"
I think Holy Water would be more useful, you could at least drink it or stop vampires.
That's stupid. I think that's really bad idea. It would get wet and sloppy real fast, how you fit it on? Once you got it on how would it go in the female(or male if you are so inclined)? Would it really stop the little buggers and bad STD germs? Oh you didn't mean that kind of protection, you meant against bullets. That's really stupid!
Well that statement makes as much sense as
"Wouldn't it be great if the troops were all handed out adamantium as part of their protection gear?"
Lets face it, it would be just as effective.
at least adamantium sounds cool :D
no, i think there's a real good use for the bible, just let a couple of enemies read it, and all the others will be to busy laughing to shoot at you
I'm fairly certain that the Bible would be a bit uncomfortable as an athletic cup.
Honestly, that's the best 'protective' use I can come up with for it.
NO.
When I hit the processing center on the way to Desert Shield/Storm, the chaplain service offered bibles.
But a good bible-beater always has his book with him, so I don't think they moved very many.
"Protection gear"? A box of condoms and a bottle of Tums have much more legitimacy.
The problem with using the bible as asswipe is, the ink leaves black streaks....
Spoken like a true Iraqi dissident.
I, however, would prefer that the troops came home alive and uninjured ... and pretty damn quickly, too.
Agreed, so Christian soldiers could read it and see that their god's command is to love human beings and not kill them, thus they'll give up the army, which will definitely protect them.
I think they should also be given a copy of Lennon's Imagine, Allen's Love and Death...
Funny someone should mention mustafa kemal and his watch, the grandfather of a teacher of mine was at Gallapoli as well (I'm Australian) and before he got there he'd bought a small bronze buddha idol which he kept in his breast pocket. It saved his life, i've seen it and it has been warped by the impact.
Did I or my teacher or even his grandfather attribute this to buddha? No we attributed it to wearing metal and being lucky.
@ Razark - Damn you had a good line. I wish I had thought of that!
I will never look at my copy of Green Eggs and Ham the same way again.
My vote - Razark for the win!
ROTFLMAO!
that barely stops really small-caliber fire at moderate range. And it does little for the whole torso...
No, I think that money is far better spent NOT trying to brainwash them, and giving them ACTUAL ARMOR.
"Equip" all the soldiers with Christian Bibles...the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have already been acused by some of being little more than (or at least looking like) a mordern day version of the Crusades - I don't think all the soldiers carrying Government issue Bibles would help that, call me crazy.
What about actual protection gear? That's work wonders! The kind of soldiers that want the Bible to begin with will likely have brought one somewhere anyway, at the barracks, unless I'm missing something about this. They won't have time to read it when they're on active duty, -as I'm sure you can imagine-, and i'd bet the farm that they have some verses memorized.
Of course, I could be wrong, but I doubt it.
Well... it might be slightly more effective than a blessed t-shirt due to being a fairly thick block of paper, but I suspect most soldiers aren't going to give up a meal (yes, even an MRE) or an extra couple of clips of ammo to fit a Bible in their pack.
Well, you know, it might bring them some comfort, but I don't think they need more weight to tote around.
How about the next time we invade the whole region on a whim, we provide ample armor for them first? Then Bibles. Except not that last part.
As an actual troop on his 11th month of a 15 month deployment, bibles are easy to get. The Chaplain always has a large collection of pocket bibles that you can easily pick up if you want one, absolutely free. The military cannot, however, make you take one. We still have to respect the beliefs of others.
"Wouldn't it be great if the troops were all handed out bibles as part of their protection gear?"
Protection gear? If a soldier is s fundie, he wouldn't need protection of any kind. Just 'Faith' alone will prevent him being hit by the 7.62 mm AK-47 rounds, the RPG-7 rockets, mortar shells, mines & C-4/Semtex from roadside bombs, surely? He doesn't need standard issue stuff, thus he could generously give his Kevlar & ceramic plate armour to his Atheist comrades-in-arms.
Besides, what is a Christian - least of all, a FUNDIE one - doing in the armed forces? Ever hear of something called the 6th Commandment?!
And, 'I Believe', if you think just a Bible is protection enough, put one against your forehead, while I put the barrel of a .50 cal. Desert Eagle against it. Should stop it fine, right? But then, why even need said Bible? If you're true to your name, your 'Faith' in your 'God' will prevent you being given said .50 cal. lobotomy, amirite?
If you like handing out bibles, then why don't you join the Gideons?
Is it the troops in Iraq he or she is talking about? The link doesn't work or I have no "privilegies" on the RR homepage.
They might as well hand out mines as Bibles in Iraq, for all the protection it will provide.
Oops, my bad, I read it as "troops handing out". My bad. Oh well, a Bible is just as protective in the hands of the troops as in the hands of the Iraqis.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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