Jesus is not a Hindu woman. Or any other person that has a mark on their forehead. He is not a Muslum either. How do I know? He came to New York and talked to me. That is right. He has returned, but not in body. Jesus talked to me in the spring of 2006. I have proof. I will say that again, I don’t have faith, I have proof. This is not at lie or a joke. Jesus really has returned. He talke to me. I am Melanie Stephan.
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Newsweek has a story about him.
A native of Puerto Rico, [Jose Luis] de Jesus, 60, spent his youth drifting from the Roman Catholics to the Pentecostals to the Baptists. Then one night in 1973, he says, he awoke to a vision of two hulking men at his bedside who announced the arrival of the Lord, who, says de Jesus, "came to me and integrated with me." In the early years after founding Growing in Grace in Miami in 1986, de Jesus didn't claim to be Christ. Instead, he worked as a pastor spreading his doctrine: that under a new covenant with God, there is no sin and no Satan, and people are predestined to be saved. But as his following expanded, his claims did, too. In 1998, de Jesus avowed that he was the reincarnation of the Apostle Paul. Two years ago at Growing in Grace's world convention in Venezuela, he declared himself Christ. And just last week, he called himself the Antichrist and revealed a "666" tattooed on his forearm. His explanation: that, as the second coming of Christ, he rejects the continued worship of Jesus of Nazareth.
I have proof. I will say that again, I don’t have faith, I have proof. This is not at lie or a joke. Jesus really has returned. He talke to me. I am Melanie Stephan.
Your proof is your name? Having a name like Melanie Stephan is not proof of anything other than your name is Melanie Stephan, and then still you could be lying to us.
You have pot, er, proof, you say? Well, don't bogart it, share the good stuff!
So it's ridiculous to consider Jesus as a Hindu woman or a Muslim, but it's perfectly reasonable that a guy "becomes" the Apostle Paul, then Jesus, and then the Anti-Christ, complete with the "undeniable truth(tm) of a TATTOO of the wrong Anti-Christ number?
That crazy is thick enough to cut with a knife.
More news from Mel S.: "There is that number again 328 on what I wrote above. That number follows me everywhere. The last site that I visited, a kid from Canada had a system of turning the bible upside-down then he cut and stitched words together. Not only did he find the months of March, April and May. But he also found my last name in the bible with his method. I didn't think he was nuts at all. I was more than interested. He found the months that Jesus came to talked to me in 2006 and he found my name. The kid found my last name. I was more than interested. Doubt all you want, that is part of the fun in finding the answers, and Jesus. Love, Melanie
Oh, to find the site I just mentioned I typed in "Everyone thinks in am nuts because Jesus talked to me", in the google box. That is how I found this site too. I think the kid was on page one of ten. He is from Canada."
I know it's impolite to make fun of deranged people, but man, this is too funny!
David D.G. -- I thought it amusing that she specifically points out that Jesus is not a Hindu woman, but apparently Jesus may be a Hindu man. Could be a pagan or some other religion, I guess, just not a Muslim or a Hindu woman.
Melanie #188328 3/26/2007 4:30:32 PM
Boy oh Boy. Some mean stuff here. Since people think pretty much the same as they did about
2000 years ago. I bet Jesus had to hear comments much like those written above when he said he
was the Son of God, and Lord in Heaven. Really he looked just like everyone else. Like my
sister said people that did not believe in his divinity, said he was the Son of Joseph and Mary.
That meant he was no one special. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think I am anyone divine. I am
just like everyone else. The only difference is that Jesus talked to me. That has not proved here
not to be a good thing.
Some of these kids may have picked up that I thought that I was someone special. At first
I did think that I was someone special. I mean God talked to me. That is effing big, isn’t it? I
think they put me in my place. Now I can just see the rocks hurling at me. This is not good for
me. If I claimed that the devil talked to me, they would all believe that. Without a problem. God
never asked me to tell anyone that he talked to me. So if I just shut up about it people won’t
bother me. After I am dead they can read my book. But for some reason I need to talk. Maybe I
should "Get thee to a psychiatrist. One of the bloggers said “You're mentally deranged." He
could be right. God has made me mental. The only problem is that I would have to pay someone
to tell me that I am nuts. I get that here for free. Then again after a shrink is paid to listen to the
whole story I would have one person that believes me. I just don’t want to pay anyone to listen
to me.
The constitution garantees us all the freedom of speech. That means Free speech. Free is
good. That also means that the kids can say hurtfull things to me. I get to talk and they get to tell
me where to go. So I guess I should not talk to them. Freedom to avoid trouble. Besides all of
those little evil bastard can all go to 666. Remember kids, God is on my side. If you die before
you wake I pray the lord your soul to take. Think it over. Besides you have lots of time to think
things over maybe you will change your mind in what you believe in. I have been all over the
road. And I don’t mean just when I was drunk. When I drove DWI, I always stayed in my own
lane. If you want to change lanes that is up to you. I don’t care. There are far to many people
on Earth, we don’t need all of you in Heaven either. Smile
Jesus is not a Hindu woman. Or any other person that has a mark on their forehead.
Oh my goodness good golly gosh I am glad to learn of this. Believe me I had to rub many forehead spots before I won the Quiky-Mart. Someone who looks like the picture jesus approached me just the other day. He said,"Vishnu".
I said, "Nothing, Vishnu with you?"
BoompTSSHH
God is not a Hindu woman. Or any other person that has a mark on their forehead. She is not a Muslim either. How do I know? She came to Britain and talked to me. That is right. She has returned, but not in body. Haruhi Suzumiya talked to me in the spring of 2005 in an anime. I have proof. I will say that again, I don’t have faith, I have proof. This is not at lie or a joke. Haruhi really has returned. She talked to me. I am Anon-e-moose.
image
"There are far to many people on Earth, we don’t need all of you in Heaven either. Smile"
Wow, feel that Christian love. This is one of the most contemptuous and hateful things I've seen in a while. It's the casual way she damns us all (with a smile!) that disturbs me.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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