Quote# 19962

Jesus is not a Hindu woman. Or any other person that has a mark on their forehead. He is not a Muslum either. How do I know? He came to New York and talked to me. That is right. He has returned, but not in body. Jesus talked to me in the spring of 2006. I have proof. I will say that again, I don’t have faith, I have proof. This is not at lie or a joke. Jesus really has returned. He talke to me. I am Melanie Stephan.

Melanie Stephan, Stupid Evil Bastard 86 Comments [1/27/2007 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 7
Submitted By: Les

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Fed Up

You have proof? Go on then, show us...

1/28/2007 1:47:31 PM

Raggy

No dear, cuts on your wrists don't count as proof. (Trust me, that was hilarious).

1/28/2007 1:50:26 PM

Archangel_Lucifer

Um proof? Could we maybe y'know, see it?

1/28/2007 2:13:21 PM

anevilmeme

You have proof? Nah sounds more like you been drinking something that's 100 Proof.

1/28/2007 2:16:03 PM

Hadanelith

...proof? Where?

1/28/2007 2:17:58 PM

szenah

We've had a few fundies claim to be Jesus in the last few months. Which one did you talk to?

1/28/2007 2:31:41 PM

Tiny Bulcher

I see they have care in the community in the US, too.

Guys, don't submit stuff like this. It's not funny to laugh at the mentally ill.


1/28/2007 2:55:00 PM

Raggy

But the fundies think that we atheists are mentally ill (in the form of little demons living inside our brains) and laugh at us!

1/28/2007 2:57:47 PM

D Laurier

huh?

talk about an ego trip.

1/28/2007 3:27:58 PM

Tuomo

This one needs counseling from mental health professional...

1/28/2007 3:42:37 PM

Jeebus

Notice that Melanie doesn't reveal what Jesus said when he came to her? I bet it was something like, \"Get thee to a psychiatrist. You're mentally deranged.\"

1/28/2007 3:50:14 PM

Mike

Proof? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

1/28/2007 4:27:44 PM

The Dude

Melanie is right. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.




1/28/2007 4:28:39 PM

Tzelemel

Wow, I never thought I'd have to use this comic again...



1/28/2007 4:49:07 PM

Langdon Alger

Let's just say that Melanie has good days, and she has bad days.

1/28/2007 5:12:09 PM

HeathenAngel

SEA KELP

ER... I mean SEEK HELP.

1/28/2007 5:30:15 PM

Osiris

Still waiting on that proof.

1/28/2007 5:31:34 PM

Darth Wang

How much do you want to bet that the guy she talked to was Hispanic and his name was pronounced \"Hey - Zeus\"?

1/28/2007 6:14:17 PM

Traitor1

Wow, it sounded like typical fundie until she got to the part about Jesus visiting her.

1/28/2007 7:00:13 PM

Prager

And you are insane! Take your meds and lie down for a while.

1/28/2007 7:27:59 PM

BurntBush

Who the fuck is Melanie Stephan?

1/28/2007 7:38:48 PM

szenah

Newsweek has a story about him.

A native of Puerto Rico, [Jose Luis] de Jesus, 60, spent his youth drifting from the Roman Catholics to the Pentecostals to the Baptists. Then one night in 1973, he says, he awoke to a vision of two hulking men at his bedside who announced the arrival of the Lord, who, says de Jesus, \"came to me and integrated with me.\" In the early years after founding Growing in Grace in Miami in 1986, de Jesus didn't claim to be Christ. Instead, he worked as a pastor spreading his doctrine: that under a new covenant with God, there is no sin and no Satan, and people are predestined to be saved. But as his following expanded, his claims did, too. In 1998, de Jesus avowed that he was the reincarnation of the Apostle Paul. Two years ago at Growing in Grace's world convention in Venezuela, he declared himself Christ. And just last week, he called himself the Antichrist and revealed a \"666\" tattooed on his forearm. His explanation: that, as the second coming of Christ, he rejects the continued worship of Jesus of Nazareth.

1/28/2007 7:45:25 PM

Matilde

Jesus is nothing of the above because he neither has returned and he was a Jewish in his thirties.

1/28/2007 7:46:03 PM

Old Viking

I hope he spoke in soothing tones. I'd hate to see you startled.

1/28/2007 8:32:39 PM

Dave Bailey/Darwin

Jesus talked to you huh? Did he have a Jewish accent?

1/28/2007 8:46:50 PM

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