Quote# 142765

Swamp Wars Video Game

(Note - apologies to those who can't see the illustrations, but Mick's artwork is so poor I can't properly put it into words...first photo appears to be Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez rendered as Medusa with snake hair attacking a trim, young, beefy-looking Trump, but the others are unfathomable.)
(I added descriptions of the pictures. But yes, no idea what is supposed to be going on there. - Bastethotep)

It's the new game featuring you as ruler of a kingdom under siege from within! Your subjects have been heavily indoctrinated by twisted school teachers. Can you save the day?


(Trump, clad in plate armour and looking worried, is followed by a gorgon wearing a maniacally grinning mask that doesn't match her skin colour, all her hair-snakes lunging forwards in formation. The background is a photo of a foggy swamp with dead trees.)

Battle the evil Speaker of the House of Horrors and her minions! She's throwing open the kingdom's borders to get votes in an effort to oust you from office!


(A leaning woman with a bony neck, making a grimace. Behind her stands a laughing red-eyed black skeleton. From the back of the woman's head or the skeleton's left shoulder, smoke rises.

Contend with a satanic media out to get you 24/7! They're turning the populace against you with vicious lies!


(Photo of people looking at a big TV screen at the back of a truck. Badly photoshopped onto the screen is a Mick Williams "drawing" of a brunette man.)

Battle the Hildabeast as she tries to corrupt your allies!


(A gigantic disembodied gorgon head. Her original face has been badly erased and replaced with another, much too small, off-center tired expressionless female face. On her left side, she is bound by a cloud(?) chain that is breaking. On her right side, one of her hair-snakes knocks down a figure in power armour, an orange surcoat and a dark-orange belt and helmet. In the foreground, silhouettes of figures wearing horned helmets watch the scene.)

Over 50 terrifying levels of challenging gameplay. Can the Trumpinator survive the demonic hordes?

Mick Williams, Disqus - Faith & Religion 31 Comments [3/12/2019 4:02:30 PM]
Fundie Index: 8
Submitted By: Jocasta

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Jocasta McFucken

May as well update you on the self-satisfied discussion taking place since this was submitted:

Mick Williams:
Not recommended for ages younger than twelve due to scary content.

Lady Checkmate:
"Not recommended for ages 18 and over if you are not reasonable, not a contributing member of society and struggle with Truth. If you believe Truth is flexible (changes with your emotions), are prone to triggered fits of rage and still scream HATE when someone disagrees with you, then you will not get this game and should be seeking Jesus Christ, not playing games."
OK, that's a bit long, but I had fun typing it.

Mick Williams:
Of course--those types would be boycotting the game maker and filing lawsuits.
By the way--the original gorgon behind Trump had a less scary face than the AOC I pasted on.

Lady Checkmate:
LOLOL!! I think I'm having more fun with this than I should, but I can imagine the uproar over:
• the color scheme????...red, white and blue is racist??.
• Misogynism...why is the hero male and (most, if not all of) his foes, female?
• Lack of sexual deviancy diversity.
I could go on, but I think you get it.

Mick Williams:
Yeah, the same old song: why is the reporter a white male; the gorgon is sexist and demeaning; ad nauseum.

3/12/2019 4:33:01 PM

Jocasta McFucken


3/12/2019 4:35:36 PM

Pharaoh Bastethotep

Worst. Video. Game. Ever! And I've seen some truly aweful ones.

If you believe Truth is flexible (changes with your emotions), are prone to triggered fits of rage and still scream HATE when someone disagrees with you, then you will not get this game

But they seem to be the target audience!

By the way--the original gorgon behind Trump had a less scary face than the AOC I pasted on.

It's just a generic woman with a hooknose and an exaggerated toothy manic grin.
Also, it's an asset flip. How unsurprising.

So Pigeon Checkmate and Mick Williams are also GamerGaters.

3/12/2019 4:55:43 PM

Anon-e-moose

Nah. Not as good as what id Tech 7 can visualise:





But as id Software released their Commander Keen Engine into the public domain, perhaps you can make a videogame based on that, Dick Willy.

No doubt their next "Wolfenstein" game will use the same engine as "DOOM Eternal".

When the previous id Tech 6-based "Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus" was marketed in a way that triggered the Trumptards: comparing them to Nazis, be careful: you may give id Software ideas.


3/12/2019 6:35:17 PM

Thinking Allowed

Wow, he must be really desperate to "improve" is skills.

3/12/2019 7:13:17 PM

Bedhead

I think the most offensive one here is really the "Trumpinator's face". I don't think he's physically capable of looking sullen like that.
Come now, are you guys going to refer to the actual source material, or just project your thoughts onto this?

3/12/2019 7:39:21 PM

Kanna

Let me guess ...Trump is pure and heroic because he never learned a damn thing, either in or out of school. Right?

3/12/2019 8:17:41 PM

WhiteNoise

I don't really know much about art, but shouldn't the hero be fighting the monster instead of running from one?

Well, maybe except in horror games, but the text doesn't make it sound like one.

3/12/2019 9:49:16 PM

SpukiKitty

Mickadoodle's getting in the video game biz?

Let's see him get a wingnut video game geek to create this puppy. I'm morbidly curious. I'd love to see the roastings of this thing.

Put this dumb thing into the same file as Custer's Revenge, Ethnic Cleansing and Left Behind.

3/12/2019 11:39:11 PM

Malingspann

The Trumpinator is out there! It can't be bargained with! It can't be reasoned with! It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop! EVER! Until you are DEAD!!

3/13/2019 3:07:43 AM

K'Zad Bhat

You know what, I've decided on it. Put it on a disc, I'll play the hell out of it. Granted, I'm a crap drummer, so can't promise how it sounds, but I'll play it for you!

3/13/2019 6:27:16 AM

Doubting Thomas

I knew it was Mick Williams when I saw the 7th-grade level artwork.

3/13/2019 7:48:50 AM

Doubting Thomas

Mick Williams:
Of course--those types would be boycotting the game maker and filing lawsuits.


Rather, Mick would be complaining like so many Christian video game makers that their crappy products aren't selling well and it must be a conspiracy rather than consumers passing their product by.

3/13/2019 7:50:32 AM

...What.

@Anon-e-moose
They're using the ID-10-T game engine for their Swamp Wars game.

3/13/2019 7:51:11 AM

Pharaoh Bastethotep

Those atrocious photoshops make Mick Williams's art look even worse than usual.

3/13/2019 8:43:39 AM



" Can the Trumpinator survive the demonic hordes?"

First he has to survive shooting himself in the foot with his 40MW pulse laser.

3/13/2019 8:47:59 AM

Timjer

I- jus- I- ...what? What is this, what even is this? Seriously, I think we found a game even worse than Superman 64.

At any rate, I'd love to see the "Trumpinator" (millions of him to make it more entertaining) go up against the likes of Doomguy, Master Chief, Samus, & Femshep. While Kratos, Bayonetta, Dante, and Asura take turns beating the crap out of the Trumpinators planet sized Ego.

3/13/2019 11:20:32 AM

BLAMigator

I've seen better RPG Maker games. This visual diarrhea makes ET look like a timeless classic.



And that game nearly killed the video game industry. It's a good thing no one outside of us and their little circle-jerk will ever hear about this piece of shit, we have enough problems without this.

3/13/2019 1:30:28 PM

Pharaoh Bastethotep

@BLAMigator:
And that game nearly killed the video game industry.

...how? I mean, obviously in 1982 video games were still emerging, but still - how the hell can a single game, no matter how bad, kill an entire industry?1?

3/13/2019 2:27:11 PM

KingOfRhye

@Pharaoh Bastethotep

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_game_crash_of_1983#Causes_and_factors

It really didn't....thought it didn't help anything, certainly.


3/13/2019 2:34:17 PM

BLAMigator

@Pharaoh Bastethotep:
...how? I mean, obviously in 1982 video games were still emerging, but still - how the hell can a single game, no matter how bad, kill an entire industry?1?

I admit my wording was hyperbolic for effect, but if that was confusing I'll take blame for that.

The home video game industry was not emerging in the early 80s, it was at its peak in 1982. Long story short, the industry was flooded with consoles and games with virtually no quality control leading to cheaply made games being shoveled out onto consoles that can easily be bypassed to play a competitor's games. The aforementioned ET had only 6 weeks to be developed for a 1982 Christmas release and fellow crash contributor Pac-Man for the Atari 2600 made more copies than Atari 2600s that actually existed. All this lead to the home video game industry crashing in 1983 with retailers unable to sell consoles for a profit, leaving them to return them to the manufacturers or sell at a huge discount. The home video game market was effectively dead in America until it was practically revived later by Nintendo.

ET was not the SOLE reason for the 1983 crash, but it was both a symptom and cause that many blame it for. That's what I meant with my statement. I thought it was more common knowledge by now, but I was mistaken. I apologize for any confusion.

3/13/2019 3:45:27 PM



If this wasn't Mick I would think this was a poe.

3/13/2019 4:21:24 PM

SpukiKitty

@BLAMigator

Suddenly; I'm having warm fuzzy nostalgic memories of Intellivision....



....It was one of many consoles available and my family (and extended family) loved it (even if the graphics were stupid). I wasn't even aware there was a big video game crash back then....I was just a kid that saw an ongoing stream of new Intellivision games coming out.

I remember the hilarity of my dad playing Space Spartans, hoping to finish the game and save the universe....only to realize after many hours of play that the game had no "end" and you play until you "die"!

That was the only quibble with of those games, they worked by "Failure is the only option" logic. What's the point of fighting off an invasion if there's no chance you'll win?

Heck; I ask the same about some modern-day games, which are less "games to beat/win" and more "role-playing scenario" where the least tragic of tragic endings is the only "good ending option". I guess that's the point of video games. Not all are things to "win/beat" but are more "role-play simulations".

I remember my Mom playing Intellivision games like Bowling and Crazy Eights.

************

Right now; I wanna play my Facebook games but (as of this writing), Facebook is having worldwide issues and it's taking a long time to fix it. It's mainly affecting Western Europe and the Americas....Facebook insists it's not some weird cyber attack but I have my doubts.

People have been going to Twitter to connect and complain.

There may be some weirdness on Google-Affiliated stuff.

I have no idea why this is taking so long to fix. How hard could it be?

3/13/2019 5:07:53 PM

WhiteNoise

Now that someone mentioned old school video games, do games these days still have "levels" in Mick's meaning anymore?

Half the game in my library is open world now, and most of the other half of mine is pretty much city building games.

3/14/2019 2:48:05 AM

pyro

Now that someone mentioned old school video games, do games these days still have "levels" in Mick's meaning anymore?


You know perfectly well that a question like that always has the answer "it depends."

I mean, lots of them clearly do. Cuphead and Geometry Dash do, obviously. So do Candy Crush and Monument Valley and Angry Birds. So do Portal and The Binding of Isaac and their sequels.

I'm pretty sure Bendy and the Ink Machine's chapters operate the same way as The Secret of Money Island's chapters, where you can freely navigate within "rooms", but once you stow away on a boat or take the elevator, you can't go back, but I've never played it, so I'm not sure. Same deal for Transistor. Does it count as a "level" when the level takes hours and there's only five of them?

3/14/2019 9:17:44 AM

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