First, thank you both SO much for writing this and validating us parents. It is nearly impossible to get proper therapy for children like mine who are suffering when the entire profession has been misguided by their professional associations and the endorsement of the “affirmation only” approach. Add to this the medicalization factor (gender therapist tried to scare me into putting my child on hormones) and this is no innocent passing fad. The indoctrination of entire school systems left me with no choice but to homeschool my daughter. I hope your blog can be submitted broadly to shed some much needed light on what is really going on.

I would love to ask you a specific question about treatment recommendations. My daughter is on the autism spectrum and highly gifted. She beginning identifying as transgender at the age of 13 after attending a school presentation where 5% of the students identify as trans. No signs of BPD or any significant mental health issues or trauma — and definitely heterosexual. I took her (ignorantly) to two gender therapists where all they did was affirm her identity and tried to scare me into putting her on hormones. I did (ignorantly) allow her to socially transition. After (finally) realizing the truth, I no longer support the name change and pronouns and threw away the binder. I withdrew her from school to homeschool.

It has been three long stressful years and she still thinks she is a boy. She sees a therapist who shares my belief, but we are both at a loss as to how to address the gender issue. Do you have any specific recommendations for therapists and parents of ASD teens? The rigid thinking makes this particularly difficult. Some parents I have talked to believe it is important to confront their kids with the truth and show them stories of detransitioners to help dissuade them. Others believe it is better to ignore the gender issue entirely and focus on strengthening the relationship. Any guidance you might recommend would be greatly appreciate.

Thank you again!