Quote# 127306

If you think (and you’d better) that your soul matters enough to Satan that he will bother to send you a tempter, just imagine the horde he dispatches to batter the president.

John Zmirak, The Stream 24 Comments [5/19/2017 11:34:13 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: Demon Duck of Doom

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I think Trump will probably bring his own.

5/19/2017 12:12:23 PM

The Angry Dybbuk

Oh, yes - poor Donald. If he weren't such a good and upright man, the devil wouldn't have felt the need to buy his soul and run the orange idiot's legacy (such as it is) into the ground by making him look like an incompetent fool with access to launch-codes and an army of orangelets to post stupid shit like the OP.

5/19/2017 12:29:27 PM


I thought that Satan leaves children alone.

5/19/2017 1:19:42 PM


Yeah does Trump look like someone who avoided temptation?

5/19/2017 1:22:22 PM


They're just Satan's lawyers working to collect on Drumpf's unpaid debt.

5/19/2017 1:22:34 PM

He'd bring Christian conservatives, tea partiers, etc

5/19/2017 1:23:03 PM

Pharaoh Bastethotep

You mean the orange creature of vice with the eldritch hair? Satan dispatched him!

5/19/2017 1:29:48 PM


Do you think Obama got the same treatment?

5/19/2017 2:54:16 PM

Citizen Justin

I'm rather annoyed with Satan now. Where the fuck is my tempter? Hurry up!

5/19/2017 2:54:37 PM

Satan and I have an agreement, I give him the souls of fundies he leaves me alone.

5/19/2017 5:04:41 PM



5/19/2017 5:32:09 PM


The Donald sold his soul years ago. As did most of the men whispering in his ear. Rather than worry about the Devil corrupting your "President", realise you voted to elect a man who is already working for Satan himself (assuming he exists). NO good uncorrupted person would drink beer and laugh about the effective murder of 20 million people...

5/19/2017 6:05:52 PM


I am not at all certain that he didn't send Trump to batter us.

5/19/2017 6:15:05 PM

Thinking Allowed

So, your god approves of a rich, amoral, pussy-grabbing man who can barely read?

5/19/2017 8:26:39 PM

Satan doesn't care about anyone you twit. And he's not real either.

5/19/2017 10:15:49 PM

Hugh G Rection

Just exactly how many "tempters" constitutes consideration as a "horde?" Asking for a friend.

5/19/2017 10:42:50 PM


They do, so much in fact he brought us sentience so we could see the importance of our existence as ourselves, not mere golems.

5/20/2017 4:42:26 AM

Doubting Thomas

You mean the rich guy who's cheated people in business deals, cheated on his wives, peeked at naked teenage girls during a beauty pageant, constantly lies, has never gone to church, and has bragged about sexually assaulting women is now all of a sudden become a target for Satan?

5/20/2017 6:20:56 AM

rubber chicken

The president's been battered ?

Well, that explains the colour.

5/20/2017 7:32:09 AM


I think his soul was for sale when he cheated on his first wife with his then-soon-to-be second wife. It was even more so when he did the same thing with his second and then-soon-to-be third wives. It was a done deal when he lusted after his daughter and harassed pageant participants. Now he's bringing the souls of his minions to Satan.

"Grab 'em by the pussy" is something only a man of Satan would say.

5/20/2017 7:50:49 AM

Mister Spak

Dumb Donald is already pre corrupted. Satan isn't sending any tempters his way, he's destroying America just fine on his own.

5/20/2017 8:27:29 AM

Demon Duck of Doom

Wait, I thought Trump WAS Satan?

5/20/2017 10:54:46 AM

The Crimson Ghost

This empty threat doesn't scare me, considering I'm of the ginger persuasion & therefore have no soul. I do enjoy collecting the souls of good christian children though. They don't have any real market value, but damn are they fun to collect, much like my dvds or fancy pants Hot Toys/Sideshow figures. I don't display them; they're not fun to look at. I keep them stashed in a pickle jar in my spare room.

The only kind of batter I want President Evil to have any connection to is if he's being batter fried, or literally battered with a battering ram, not unlike Grond.

5/20/2017 6:20:02 PM

Jamaican Castle

You know John, that's remarkably inefficient of Satan. Rather than waste all those perfectly good tempters trying to seduce a virtuous President, why not just pull strings so a corrupt one is elected?

Oh wait, that's exactly what happened. Carry on.

5/20/2017 10:07:52 PM

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