jalien #conspiracy thejesusalien.com

Celebrating christmas are you? Do you know why Jesus was sent here? OK, let me summarise—

A bunch of advanced cosmic entities were sent to this planet, which was a natural paradise, to observe and nurture it. unfortunately they were so intelligent they thought they could make things better here by teaching us about their amazing ways including metal tech and make up for women (i kid you not)— unfortunately they found the hairy women here very attractive and fathered children with them, mighty god like children (you know the names e.g hercules, horus and setanta).

This really messed the place up because these powerful beings lost the run of themselves building ridiculous pyramid structures and other mad shit. They collected our wealth, ate all our food and corrupted our DNA (original sin etc, how else can it be passed down).

They ran out of food and ate people and corrupted other species (you can see the crazy things they did on the walls of the temples in egypt).

Anyway, the cosmic entities had other space friends who saw these transgressions and facepalmed. Being so advanced, they had an ability to tune into the conciousness of the universe and asked it what to do. It told them to wipe out everything and start again (the flood). one family were chosen deemed most pure, DNA wise, and their age limit shortened (bit of telomere manipulation to limit life to 120 years max spoken of thousands of years ago but proven in 1961 by leonard hayflick) so they could cause far less damage in a lifetime. The earth repopulated but unfortunately things did not improve greatly even with an instruction book delivered to us (we need instruction book because of our cosmic heritage combined with animal instinct). The instruction book, however, wasn’t enough and so the concious mind of the universe stimulated an ovum to create a body that could sync with it on an indefinite basis (it can sync with any of us but not to this degree). Direct intervention was the only way to get across to us what went down and what is to come. It taught us how to end feuds and love everyone, especially the misfortunate and showed us that the best people to hang with are those at a low ebb who made bad choices but want to be good friends.

Unfortunately people misinterpreted this message and killed the poor guy and then took his message and corrupted it and did the opposite. he warned us of societies that are trying to resurrect demi gods like Hitler and others and his disciples were also shown mad stuff after taking drugs showing them swarms of drones programmed to torture and “sting people.” We were also warned of a one world currency where u could not buy or sell withoyt the mark of the beast 666 (blockchain and EAN bar codes which all have 666 encoded). Next up is the resurrection of an ancient god. That will be fun. anyway, happy birthday Jesus. Thanks for the heads up.

I still dont think they’re ready.

8 comments

Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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