Quote# 125549

Cleveland Cavaliers star Kyrie Irving was the first NBA player to reveal his flat-Earth beliefs, summarized as such: “Can you really think of us rotating around the sun, and all planets align, rotating in specific dates, being perpendicular with what’s going on with these ‘planets’ and stuff like this?”

Soon afterwards, Denver Nuggets wing Wilson Chandler and Golden State Warriors forward Draymond Green endorsed Irving’s flat-Earth theory, with the latter explaining away NASA’s photos of the planet from space by suggesting everyone can manipulate doctored photos of the globe on their phones.

The NBA storyline became so outrageous commissioner Adam Silver had to address it in his annual state-of-the-league address at the All-Star Game, clarifying, “I believe the world is round,” and suggesting Irving was making some broader social commentary about fake news in this country.

Which, no he wasn’t. Irving doubled down on his flat-Earth theory this past week, before detailing his lucid dreaming skills and informing us how an ex-teammate came to him in a dream to say goodbye.

These are all very real things that NBA players have said.

This is one wild theme to the 2016-17 NBA season, and Shaq just made it wilder when asked about Irving’s flat-Earth theory on his podcast. This was his response, through a series of interruptions:

“It’s true. The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat. Yes, it is. Listen, there are three ways to manipulate the mind — what you read, what you see and what you hear. In school, first thing they teach us is, ‘Oh, Columbus discovered America,’ but when he got there, there were some fair-skinned people with the long hair smoking on the peace pipes. So, what does that tell you? Columbus didn’t discover America. So, listen, I drive from coast to coast, and this s*** is flat to me. I’m just saying. I drive from Florida to California all the time, and it’s flat to me. I do not go up and down at a 360-degree angle, and all that stuff about gravity, have you looked outside Atlanta lately and seen all these buildings? You mean to tell me that China is under us? China is under us? It’s not. The world is flat.”

Various NBA players, Yahoo! Sports 10 Comments [3/19/2017 3:47:42 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Hu's On First

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creativerealms

Shaq may be joking. I hope he is he has an degree in education a real one.

3/19/2017 4:25:06 PM

Uilleam

Can you tell these people weren't selected based on brainpower?

3/19/2017 5:15:28 PM

dxdydz


3/19/2017 6:12:12 PM

Kanna

We must trust what they say, because they are (or were) at the top of their profession because of their years of study and brilliant minds and advanced degrees in science .....er....no, that's not it...

3/20/2017 9:30:33 AM

Miles Gloriosus

I'm wondering if we're just being trolled.

3/20/2017 11:23:04 AM

PETF

Who cares what some all-star basketball player thinks? The earth is a sphere(well more of a lumpy shape) proven by hundreds or thousands of scientists.


3/20/2017 3:03:16 PM

antichrist

Ahh, the Professional Basketball Players Think-Tank and Brain-Trust... that's where I go for all my hard-hitting science-y stuff!

3/20/2017 9:14:02 PM

Anon-e-moose

This new thinking amazes me, Sir Ving. Explain again, how basketballs may be employed to prevent earthquakes? [/"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"]

...oh, and why aren't Basketballs flat...?!

3/21/2017 8:53:22 PM

Azereaux

I see that college education you likely had went to good use.

Also, 360 degree angle? Back to the beginning with you!

3/22/2017 11:12:12 AM

KingOfRhye

Apparently, Shaq said he was joking a few days later on an NBA broadcast. He is well-known for being something of a goofball, so I'm not surprised. Actually, I kinda want to find a clip of that podcast, it would probably be even funnier hearing him say it.

Hmm...maybe if the Earth is flat, that, in some strange way, accounts for his notoriously poor free-throw shooting?

(The strategy of teams deliberately fouling an opposing player who's bad at free throws is still called "hack-a-Shaq" sometimes....lol-

3/25/2017 9:41:04 PM

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