Quote# 125469

[From "The Dating Dilemma" - Bolding mine]

I have often wished parents could see their youngsters at school or Bible camp without the youngster's knowledge. Parents would learn a great deal about the impact these premature boy-girl relationships have had on their sons and daughters. I have observed at camps for example that many girls get up one and two hours before reville. To pray? Memorize Scripture, read their Bibles and meditate on Scripture? No, if this were true, we would certainly have different camps. The reason for this zeal to get out of bed is to "put on their face" with painstaking care so as to best be able to attract the latest cute boy they are chasing.

How popular would camp be if everyone knew in advance only boys or only girls would be in attendance? At the very least, I believe it is incumbent on us as Christian leaders to prevent and discourage this fleshly nonsense, such as different times for swimming of boys and girls, seating at all events, chapels, meals, etc., segregated by sex, no physical or contact sports with mixed sexes, etc.

[...]

My children know they will never be allowed to date a person their parents are not actively considering as genuine marriage-material for them. And then, dating is with a no-touch policy and is always chaperoned.

In other words, such dating would not occur until after high school and would be under strictly controlled circumstances. Moreover, the person dated would only be a candidate previously considered, prayed over, and enthusiastically approved by the parents, not someone chosen by the emotional whims or fleshly likes of our children. Most youngsters know far more about driving a car than they do about how to choose a marriage partner.

What a relief for a youngster to know that they are not allowed to participate in frantic boy/girl relationships! They can actually concentrate on the responsibility of becoming the youngster God and their parents want them to be instead of being involved in this popular, fleshly distraction. Some youngsters are battling with feelings of insecurity, low self-image, rejection, etc., because of the intense social pressure among their peers to conform in this practice of dating. They believe they are a failure if they do not measure up to the standards of the group.

Mom and Dad, if you would prevent this dating game in your youngster's life, you will probably see improved academics, family relationships, spiritual growth, and emotional stability instead of wondering about their loyalty, thought life, and whether they will keep their purity through high school. One cannot find what we call dating or pairing off in the Bible with the possible exception of Sampson in the Book of Judges. And he stands out as a strong warning against the indulgence of flesh. Whereas he was physically the strongest man in the world, he was weak in controlling his desires and emotions which ultimately cost him his testimony, his eyesight, his honor, and even his life.

Fathers, please do not expect your virile, immature young son to control his emotions and rein in his flesh when a woman's whorish ways can even overcome many "strong men" (Proverbs 7:26), and absolutely destroy them. What he needs is a Dad who will say no to dating and pairing off for his boy and careful guidance about parentally approved, chaperoned dating when he is ready for marriage. Youngsters need parents who will be looking for prospective marriage candidates on their behalf, parents who will look for character, compatibility of families, spiritual qualifications, who would compliment their child, etc. A levelheaded, Holy Spirit directed parent is far more qualified to seek marriage prospects than a teenager with roller coaster emotions, newly functioning glands and who is filled with desires very difficult for him to control.

Parents, you can have your daughter wear a white wedding gown and not be a liar about the purity it represents. Your children can come to a wedding altar pure, having never even touched their spouse if you love them enough to lay down some rules and assist them through this potential pitfall of life called dating. It not only is devastating to emotions and to moral purity, it is a colossal failure in terms of producing strong, stable marriages. One only has to look at the overloaded divorce courts to see the awful results of dating and the marriages that resulted from this modern American practice.

Rev. Ronald E. Williams, Faith Bible Baptist Church 16 Comments [3/18/2017 4:07:33 PM]
Fundie Index: 8
Submitted By: JeanP

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Citizen Justin

I smell a nonce.

3/18/2017 6:04:27 PM

Kanna

Prediction: the girls will be pregnant by fifteen, after they run away from a controlling parent like you.

3/18/2017 7:29:20 PM



"Most youngsters know far more about driving a car than they do about how to choose a marriage partner."

Because you know what kids are required to do to get their license?

Practice.

This parents-pick-your-spouse nonsense is just as wise as having the parents do the driving while their "youngster" is supposed to be practicing for a road test. You don't have to control your kid if you actually bother to parent them. Model a healthy and respectful relationship in your own marriage, set reasonable expectations and boundaries for their behavior, and keep an open line of communication.

3/18/2017 9:01:28 PM

Insult to Rocks

Ugh, stop saying "flesh" and "virile". This reads like Hannibal Lecter's Guide to Parenting.

3/18/2017 9:07:37 PM

Malingspann

Rev. Ronald E. Williams: "Parents, never let your children forget they are your property! Tell them that if you want their opinion, on dating or anything else, you'll give it to them!"

3/19/2017 2:47:08 AM

Don

Also, parents: keep those kids off my lawn.

3/19/2017 5:45:30 AM

JeanP

@Malingspann:
Rev. Ronald E. Williams: "Parents, never let your children forget they are your property! Tell them that if you want their opinion, on dating or anything else, you'll give it to them!"


Rev. Ronald E. Williams: "Anf is they still refuse to obey then you can send them in my Hephzibah House!"

3/19/2017 8:20:10 AM

Passerby

A pathetic excuse of a man with all of your control issues took my childhood and very nearly the last vestiges of my humanity. I am not a man because of him. I am a man in utter contempt and in spite of him. My life, as meager and hard fought as it is, belongs to me. A parent teaches their children how to make and live by their choices in life, not to snatch them away and beat them over the head for thinking for themselves.

You sir, deserve Hell or the closest approximation thereof.

3/19/2017 9:43:58 AM

Swede

You don’t think those parents were once kids too, and had their own “premature boy-girl relationships”?

I used to not want to leave the house without make-up, but it was not to “attract the latest cute boy”, more for other women’s benefits. We usually don’t think men really notice the difference; they are often more interested in looking some ten inches below our faces…

The kids are going to find ways to mix the sexes, whatever you do. It’s better to have it out in the open, where you have a slight chance to see if anyone is being abused or harmed in any other way, than to force it underground, where you have no chance whatsoever of protecting the kids from themselves and each other.

Your children will not tell you about their love-interests, so you will have no chance to evaluate them, before a shotgun marriage is of need. They will not date, they will just be “studying with their friends”.

YOUR son is virile and immature, while OTHER people’s daughters are whorish?

Do you commit to a house or a new car without inspecting and test-driving them too? I’d say it’s much more important to make sure that you are compatible in bed before committing to a (hopefully) lifelong marriage, than checking out that the house is sound or the car is functioning well.

Divorces are more common among people who married young, with little or no life experience.

3/19/2017 10:13:06 AM

Psycho Tits

If your "child" is old enough to marry, he's old enough to choose his own mate. Regardless of the power you may think you have as parents, when your son or daughter turn 18, they can leave - just up and walk out on you, permanently if they choose.

You had better decide on what relationship you want with your *grand-kids* before you start micromanaging your kids' lives.

3/19/2017 1:27:47 PM

Demon Duck of Doom

Your children are not your property.

3/19/2017 1:34:12 PM



Rev Ronald Williams seems to think children are property. This kind of thing frightens and sickens me.

3/19/2017 1:57:23 PM

Tetra

No, I guarantee you that your kids will be even worse if you restrict them like this. There's only so much you can pull on a rubber band 'fore it snaps back and hits you in the face.

3/19/2017 2:19:26 PM

Doubting Thomas

FFS, the more you try to keep sex from teenagers and young adults, the more you're going to make them want it. And also more likely to make them be sexually dysfunctional, like Josh Duggar.

I mean, jeez, if God didn't want us to have sex before marriage he wouldn't have given us a sex drive until we say "I do."

3/20/2017 6:46:18 AM

Musicalbookworm

There is so much wrong here, it's hard to know where to start. I'll start with the white wedding dress was not about "purity", it was about class! Only the wealthy could afford such an obvious impractical garment as a WHITE dress. The traditional color of a the virgin's robe is blue. Let's move on to the fact that you are bonkers.

3/20/2017 6:57:28 AM

Mister Spak

" The reason for this zeal to get out of bed is to "put on their face" with painstaking care so as to best be able to attract the latest cute boy they are chasing. "

What if the cute boy is Jesus?


3/20/2017 7:45:13 AM

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