Quote# 123434

Attributes that will not help you get laid even one iota

Instead of just summarizing with, "everything but looks and money," I figured I'd list some things and explain how worthless they are when it comes to attracting women.

SENSE OF HUMOR: Women are not attracted to funny. In fact, a sense of humor can actually work against you, as women think of relationships as serious business. Sure, she'll tease Chad and laugh at random shit while she's with him, but it won't be because he's funny. It'll be an instinctive reaction because she finds him attractive. I can make just about any woman laugh with my dry humor. They go, "that little boy is so funnyyyyy. So anyway, Ashley, Chad is picking me up tonight."

Bill Burr: "I was never making enough money. There's something weird about being a stand-up comedian where for the most part you don't have groupies. You still have to work for it. I also think different emotions that, say, singers can bring out in women makes them kind of swoon. Nobody swoons over a comedian."

BEING A MUSICIAN: While Burr was correct about women not being attracted to comedians, he is wrong about women being into musicians solely for the sake of them being musicians. You see, women are into musicians either because they are physically attractive, or because they are rich and famous. A musician who is not rich and famous will not attract a single chick with his music.

My brother is an aspiring musician. He has played tons of shit, including overseas in front of crowds of around 1,000 people. You know how many women have hit on him after shows over the years? You can count it on...NO hands.

He has had a few girlfriends, but not one of them had any idea what it was he did. He met his current girlfriend at a bar, just getting a beer.

You see, when you're 5'5" like my brother, women don't care what kind of guitar player you are.

Women love mediocre talents who are in boy bands a helluva lot more than they love far more talented artists who aren't as popular. The guys in the boy bands are sooooo yummy and so rich and famous.

INTELLIGENCE: Yeah, she's really impressed by your brain. Albert Einstein's picture is on her ceiling and she fingers herself to it.

There are two ways women think of intelligence:

Academic achievements. My Dad has a PhD, so my mom loves to say that this was why she was so attracted to him. But really, what is there about his PhD - which is in the science field - that affects her in any way that isn't financial? My mom majored in linguistics and has no scientific inclination. She has discussed the technical parts of my dad's work with him about one time back in 1982, which was all it took for her to go, "uhhhh, OK, now I know not to bring that up again."

When the guy talks over her head, she thinks to herself, "I love it when he talks all smart and stuff. xD." She doesn't understand it, so this means it's intelligent, and she can brag to her friends about how her possibly pseudo-intellectual SO is sooooooo smart.

TALENT IN GENERAL: When I was a kid, I used to fantasize about "impressing" girls. What naive heterosexual boy doesn't?

The problem is, they're not impressed. They simply don't care. You're a great athlete? A great musician? A great painter? A great writer?

What interests her is in how much money you'll attain from this. She'll want to hitch her ride to a guy who is going places.

If she spots a young LeBron James in the gym, she might get excited about what the future could be like if she were with him and he became an NBA star. The talent itself being something she's attracted to? HA!

Even Roger Federer's wife, who was a fucking tennis player herself, frequently looks bored during his matches.

"Oh, he hit a winner from between his legs? Let's just finish this match, I want to go back to the hotel."

KINDNESS: They say it themselves. "Women are not objects you put kindness tokens into and get sex out of."

Nice guys are a dime a dozen. "You're sweet" is a patronizing remark and means she will never fuck you.

TimRattayGotScrewed, /r/incels 179 Comments [1/4/2017 7:29:10 AM]
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Submitted By: Pharaoh Bastethotep

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"You're sweet" Is the last thing my man hears before I jump on him in bed.

want some real advice kiddo? Try to impress the ONE female you truly want to find companionship with, there`s no general rules for succes. What makes me wet will make my friend dry, so to speak. In spite of your simplifications we are anything but a hive mind.

1/4/2017 8:01:18 AM


Funny, I know plenty of musicians who, while being great, aren't even close to selling out stadiums yet they do OK with the ladies.

Edit: One friend of mine who's a musician's ex-wife and the woman he dated after his marriage ended were both total smoke shows.

All that shit you list has nothing to do with why you can't get your widdle pee-pee wet; it's because you're a bitter, whiny little manbaby with a repugnant personality.

1/4/2017 8:22:34 AM


I can make just about any woman laugh with my dry humor.

OK, there's a big red flag here for me: does anyone else see "dry humor" as (probably) sarcasm? Other than that, this is a standard incel rant, which, once again, misses the point completely. Seriously, Tim. while you are so busy ascribing group characteristics to women, did it ever occur to you that we are individuals? Stop trying to "impress women" and start trying to meet and know a few.

1/4/2017 8:26:27 AM

You know these guys say these things about women all the time. Yet are very unsuccessful with women. You'd think they would realize they're wrong.

1/4/2017 8:28:38 AM


>You know these guys say these things about women all the time. Yet are very unsuccessful with women. You'd think they would realize they're wrong.

Self-awareness doesn't tend to be "incels" and "Nice Guys"TM strong suit.

1/4/2017 8:40:57 AM

You ought to realize the reason none of that gets you laid is because it's painfully obvious that's the only reason you're doing it, right? Like a panhandler making up whatever sob story they can think of: Oh I need gas, I left my kids in my car twenty blocks away when we broke down... I'm totally a Vietnam veteran... I was promised a job and hitchhiked all the way from the other side of the country...

But when they say it - and you know exactly why they're saying it - does it incline you in the slightest to give them any spare change even if you're the type to give a guy legitimately down on his luck a couple bucks for a sandwich on some days or even volunteer at soup kitchens and shelters?

Not likely. Because they see you as nothing more than an easily worked dispenser and knowing that pisses you off royally. It doesn't matter how they dress themselves up, how pathetic they can make themselves seem, how wild their story is, or even if there's truth behind what they say because once you catch a single whiff of what they really think of you and any charity you might have it's going to be all you can do to walk off without punching them in the face.

1/4/2017 8:47:23 AM


Point taken

1/4/2017 8:52:59 AM


SENSE OF HUMOR: Women are not attracted to funny


It was my having a laugh with a woman at a dealers table about Hideki's paradox in "Chobits" and how Yuuko the Dimensional Witch 'abuses' poor Watanuki in "xxxHOLiC" - and thus we having similar interests & tastes in manga: specifically the works of CLAMP (as well as the greatest laugh we had: how we just happened to be from the same locale) which resulted in us having the relationship we're in right now.

She's said I'm a nice guy. She thinks I look hot in either of the pink shirts I have.

That is the most arousing remark: one reason why she likes it when we fuck at least twice a week.

1/4/2017 9:04:27 AM

Thinking Allowed

Attributes that will not help you get laid even one iota

All of which I'm sure I will disagree with you.


This is one attribute I find sexy as hell. It shows me that there is personality there. Of course what one person finds funny, others do not.


You have to be kidding...right. Even the ones with barely any talent get hot chicks thrown at them.


While being dumb may work for women with the I.Q. of a rock, if you are unable to carry a decent conversation with me beyond 2nd grade, you don't make the cut.


See Musician and comedian


This is like the biggest turn-on for me.

They say it themselves. "Women are not objects you put kindness tokens into and get sex out of."

If this is your experience (especially if they're using the term objects) then I say "You're doing it wrong." It's not kindness if you're trying to buy us to get laid. Treating us like objects is going to get you shut down by us faster than a rabid, flee-ridden rat in a subway bathroom.

Nice guys are a dime a dozen.

Obviously our definition of "nice guys" are two different things.

"You're sweet" is a patronizing remark and means she will never fuck you.

Hint, if I am saying that to you, it means you're trying to hard and being a complete ass-jerk in the matter. No I won't have sex with you because you're expecting some kind of reward being an ass-jerk and treating women like objects.

1/4/2017 9:07:07 AM



Hey, good for you Moose!
This moment when you realise you both share so much compatibility, that you are in fact best budds as well as lovers is the one when both these things start being even fucking better!

Come to think of it both you and my Matt should probably thank these erstatzvolk, they`re like shady, shady mist through which the actual good guys shine ever brightier for those of us interested in such a delicious prize!

1/4/2017 9:40:23 AM


So, in a nutshell, don't bother learning anything, doing anything, or being a decent person. All because you can't get your dick wet. Seriously? Everything wrong with this mindset's core is here. All that's missing is It...

You know, I've been wondering something about the "constantly whining about lack of sex" crowd. Many of them say they know what their preferred gender want or refer to others that say such. But either they never try any of the things they think work, or they do and fail anyway while still adhering to the belief system. Why doesn't the reality of their failure affect their view? Why keep doing things that don't work and taking advice from people that don't know what their talking about? Does not compute!

1/4/2017 9:58:43 AM


The basic premise is wrong. Just about any guy who does any kind of performance art is likely to attract women. Not necessarily ones looking for a long-term relationship, but I'm sure you don't care about that.

1/4/2017 10:04:22 AM



They represent the literal definition of insanity, species scale.

1/4/2017 10:08:06 AM

The Crimson Ghost


Humor is a requirement, as are smarts & humanity. Talent is a nice bonus, just like a firm tight ass or a 6 pack, but hardly a necessity. Sadly, not one of your type possesses any of the aforementioned attributes, nor will you ever. You've successfully convinced yourselves that all of your problems are the fault of collective group think among the ladies, & that's why you will never change. It's so much easier to sit around & complain on subreddits than it is to shower & treat women as people rather than biological sex toys. And that is why you will remain alone.

One more thing- I don't buy for 1 second that any of you have ever been called "sweet", or any other complimentary adjectives. I have trouble accepting that women even acknowledge you. We can spot predators, stalkers & rapists when we see them-it's a defensive mechanism. Your incelness is entirely of your own making, & the rest of the civilized world, even those of us stuck here under soon to be President Evil & his legion of Tyrants, are fucking tired of your whining. Either grow up or shut up.

1/4/2017 10:18:03 AM


You'll pardon me if I don't trip over myself to take advice on how to get women from the incel crowd.

1/4/2017 10:24:57 AM


Women ARE attracted to funny. Though, ”funny” differs from human to human. You need to feel out, what the people you're with at the time, like.

We don’t know who Chad is, he’s all in your imagination. Are you sure you’re not secretly gay?

I met my husband while we were in high school/college. Neither of us made any money whatsoever back then.

Women are individuals, we each are attracted to different things. When you realize that, you might be able to get away from your “incel” status.
My husband is 6,5; are you saying that that is the only reason I like him, why I’ve stayed with him for 29 years?

There’s a boy duo over here that is called Marius and Martinus, or something like that. They are young, probably cute, but they are children and their music is boring. Like you see, I don’t even remember their names. Or, perhaps I’m not a woman to you, as I’m over 25? So, I could say “when your over 25, men don’t care what kind of a woman you are”, right?

A man that has a PhD is educated, can probably argue in a variety of subjects and is INTERESTING. It’s not about finances, it’s about everyday life, numbskull! Linguistics are science, too, silly. And no, we don’t like when people talk over our heads, we like when people talk TO us. How hard can that be to grasp?!?

I have more money than my husband does. I make almost as much as he does, even though he’s an engineer and I’m not.

Who’s LeBron James? Is he sweaty? Giäääääääh! Get him out of here!

If Mrs Federer was a tennis player herself, she may have had her fill, and then some, of tennis matches on her own.

Erm, women are not OBJECTS, period.

I’ve said “you’re sweet” to my husband countless times over the last 29 years, and we're NOT in a platonic relationship...

1/4/2017 10:48:25 AM


"Attributes that will not help you get laid even one iota ..."

... when you're also an asshole.

1/4/2017 10:57:15 AM


I always view a woman telling a guy he's "too nice" as being the same as someone remarking, "It's too quiet" in a horror movie moments before the masked killer/monster strikes.

1/4/2017 11:04:25 AM

Happy Atheist

Dude, the only people I know who regularly get girls throwing themselves at them are comedians. They get some weirdly obsessive groupies.

1/4/2017 11:20:46 AM


Translation: "Why oh why did these things not get me girls when I tried them? Is it, perhaps, because my blatantly repugnant personality overrides any positive impression created by my talents, assuming I even have any? Nah, can't be..."


Treating others as people requires effort. Incels don't want to put in effort; their rants make it abundantly clear that what they want is a sex slave who can't say no.


LeBron James is, as of this writing, widely regarded as the world's best basketball player. Unless you did know that and were just kidding. In which case, sue me, I'm a pedant with Aspergers.

1/4/2017 11:42:19 AM


I'm just trying to figure out this guy's name. Tim Rattay? The career backup quarterback? How the hell was he screwed?

1/4/2017 12:12:12 PM

@ KingOfRhye

I dunno. Maybe because he's only the backup quarterback and the existence of other quarterbacks relegates him to second fiddle? Is that how football works? I know these dumbasses think if pretty much everybody else stopped existing their lives would be glorious.

1/4/2017 12:26:17 PM


On the contrary; guys who are all these things and have all these traits get laid, get married and have kids.

Your problem, along with your fellow "incels" is you're a shitty, sorry excuse for a human being.

1/4/2017 12:37:07 PM

Gabriel LaVedier

This was standard incel rot until the end. Then the comment about tokens accidentally revealed how these monsters see the world. They think humans are preprogrammed NPCs, like this is some computer simulation solipsism thing, and they have to operate on dating sim rules. Be at the location at the right time, follow the dialogue tree from the walkthrough, buy the right gifts from the hidden shop, with such detachment they treat life like a Chinese Box thought experiment. They don't even understand the selections they're making they're going by guidebooks and FAQs from PUAs and fellow travelers, never looking at the labels just pushing the buttons. But they enter this petulant loser-rage because they are FAILING. They don't even want to "suffer" through ringing up the relationship bar through conversation or all the date events, they want a cheat code to the end, but all the cheats they are given don't work. And rather than realize they were sold a bill of goods and life is not a Hentai RPG (which is a bummer, sure, maybe it could be like Viper or something*) nt hey lash out like little babies and pout and say they are never going to play again, while desperately trying to cheat code their way to the H-scenes with fake attempts at eliciting pity.

*Joke. Hentai is probably the worst genre for the real world. But, if I'm honest, the Viper games were the highest quality because they had smooth animation and were numerous.

1/4/2017 12:57:38 PM

Dizzy Dream

Funny, I once had a crush on a talented artistic guy. Why didn't we end up together? He already had a girlfriend. Kind of throws your theory out of the water doesn't it?

1/4/2017 12:59:09 PM

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