It is clear to me that many of my fellow Americans have no clue as to what homosexuality is and what it is exactly that makes a person a homosexual. In the interest of clearing up some really rather large misconceptions, I have devised this simple test.
WARNING! Sexually explicit material.
1. You are a male homosexual if you:
A. Love your brother. B. Are a really nice guy. C. Are creative and like musicals. D. Are afraid of asking out a female. E. Willingly put another male's penis in your mouth or anal canal.
The correct answer is E.
2. You are a female homosexual if:
A. You are a really nice girls PE teacher. B. Live in a house with another female. C. Are not asked out on dates with males. D. Like cats and holding hands in front of the fireplace. E. Willingly have other females sexually stimulate your vagina.
The correct answer is E.
If you selected answers A-D on either question, then you are ignorant or kidding yourself.
Homosexuality is an act. It is not a physical trait like skin pigmentation.
It is not "just about love". It is a behavior. No male is born with another male's penis in his mouth.
36 comments
no male is born with his penis in a woman's vagina, either. heterosexuality doesn't get to claim to be the only orientation that's more than mere physical activity.
at any one given point in time, something over 99% of all human beings are not, in fact, having sex at all. this does not make them all asexual.
Homosexuality is sexual attraction to your own sex. Everybody knows that.
HOMO= The same
SEXUAL= Needs no translation
It is not a behaviour. It is not a series of acts. It is not a lifestyle. It is not a culture. It is not a sign of being possessed by demons. It is not a young person throwing a strop. It is not passed on via contagion. And I don't care if I am straight, the next time someone within earshot of me says people are gay because they were molested and enjoyed it, I'm going to punch them right in the fucking face like I should have done the first time.
It's you wankers who are trying to redefine the word, not us.
@ Citizen Justin: Bravo, sir. I have just adopted the same position.
To the OP:
You are a prick if you:
A. Wish to control the love life of anyone that isn't you.
The correct answer is A.
(Nomen Nescio)
"no male is born with his penis in a woman's vagina, either."
Well, um, unless he was born feet-first (commonly known as a "breech birth"), or was delivered via Caesarian section, then, yeah, he kinda is. *chuckles*
Seriously, though, you did correctly demonstrate that the OP is wrong.
Also, add me to the growing list of those applauding Citizen Justin for his awesome rebuke.
ADDENDUM: Wait, some troll was here earlier, and he's been wiped out already? Shit, and I already wanted a new chew-toy.
"No male is born with another male's penis in his mouth."
And apparently, no fundie is born with a brain in his skull. Come back when you have actual sense to construct your argument around. I get the feeling I'll be waiting for a while...
No male is born with another male's penis in his mouth.
No female is born with a man's penis in her vagina either, so what's your point?
Sexual acts do not define your sexuality, plenty of teenagers experiment during their formative years. Homosexuals experience an attraction to the same gender, but that doesn't mean that they necessarily engage in the sexual acts you picture them doing, and some may stay celibate.
No male is born with his penis inserted into a vagina, but that hasn't got you campaigning against heterosexual marriages. Face it, your opposition to homosexuality is solely based on your aversion to it, not because of any critical thought process.
In the case of 1, all of the options except D. may be true if you are gay. In fact, you may be gay and E still may not be true - sexual attraction and sex are two different things and even if they were the same, there is more to sex than oral sex and buggery.
In the case of 2, all of the options may be true for a lesbian. In fact, you may be lesbian and E still may not be true; how many lesbians would allow just any other woman touch their vagina?
No male is born with another male's penis in his mouth.
Not many babies having heterosexual sex in the delivery room, either. Your point?
I have devised this simple test.
How about "you are a homosexual if you are sexually attracted to members of the same sex?" Why make it any more complicated than it needs to be?
Homosexuality is an act.
Further proof that homophobes equate homosexuality as the actual sex act and nothing more, conveniently ignoring the fact that unless you're attracted to someone of the same sex, you're unlikely to participate in homosexual sex acts.
And even if homosexuality is just merely a voluntary sex act, there's no rational reason to ban it any more than it would be logical to ban heterosexual oral or anal sex.
As defined by most psychologists, homosexuality refers to an attraction primarily to members of the same sex. I am a heterosexual, but I'm also a virgin. Does that make me asexual?
@Doubting Thomas,
I've even seen many fans of Ray Comfort doing that same thing. You know, the guy who is famous for saying that if you so much as look at a member of the opposite sex and feel tingly, you've basically reenacted Fifty Shades of Grey.
You're a male homosexual if you're attracted to people of your own gender.
You're a female homosexual if you're attracted to people of your own gender.
That's about it.
Homosexuality is an attraction, just as heterosexuality is. Or, what is the people who have never had anal, oral or vaginal sex? Asexuals, the whole lot?
No female is born with a male penis in her vagina either.
1. You are a male heterosexual if you:
A. Love your sister. B. Are a really nice guy. C. Are tough and like sports. D. Are afraid of asking out a male. E. Willingly put your penis in a woman's mouth, vagina, or anal canal.
The correct answer is E.
2. You are a female heterosexual if:
A. You are a really nice girl. B. Live in a house with a male. C. Are not asked out on dates with females. D. Like cats and holding hands in front of the fireplace. E. Willingly have males sexually stimulate your vagina.
The correct answer is E.
++"It is not "just about love". It is a behavior."
I don't know, Blue. You seem like a born cocksucker to me.
And unless you think exiting your mother's at birth counts (I really hope you don't), you weren't born with your dick in a vagina, either.
It's much simpler than that: you are a homosexual (male or female) if your sexual orientation is primarily to members of your own gender.
You may, of course, also be a nice guy, good brother, live in a house with another female, etc.
(OHP)
"And unless you think exiting your mother's at birth counts (I really hope you don't), you weren't born with your dick in a vagina, either."
Just for the record, in case anyone missed the sarcasm: I was joking when I made that very suggestion on page one of this thread.
The only sex that can have a male penis in his mouth before birth is a male. And, the only sex able to have a 69 involving a vagina before birth is a female.
Only identical twins share fetal sack, and they have the same sex, as they come from the same egg.
I guess one of a male pair could have the enzyme that kick-starts male development missing, thus appearing as female. But as that is very, very rare to begin with, I'd also guess it's even more rare in already rare identical twins...
Phew, it's a good thing 2.D isn't a sign of homosexuality. Hubby and me like cats and we often hold hands/rub feet in front of the fireplace during the colder months. It would disrupt our lives if we both had to "register" as female homosexuals...
Oh, and homosexuality IS a physical trait, like skin pigmentation. Christianity is more of an act/a behavior than homosexuality.
1. You are a male homosexual if you:
A. Love your brother.
B. Are a really nice guy.
C. Are creative and like musicals.
D. Are afraid of asking out a female.
E. Willingly put another male's penis in your mouth or anal canal.
F. Is sexually attracted only to other males.
The correct answer is F.
2. You are a female homosexual if:
A. You are a really nice girls’ PE teacher.
B. Live in a house with another female.
C. Are not asked out on dates with males.
D. Like cats and holding hands in front of the fireplace.
E. Willingly have other females sexually stimulate your vagina.
F. Is sexually attracted only to other females.
The correct answer is F.
If you selected answers A-E on either question, then you are ignorant or kidding yourself.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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