Quote# 105924

HE NEW ANT and the Grasshopper, Two Versions:

The ANT
AND THE
GRASSHOPPER

This one is a little different....
Two Different Versions ...
Two Different Morals

OLD VERSION:

The ant works
hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper
thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm
and well fed.

The grasshopper has
no food or shelter, so he
dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:

Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN VERSION: PHOOEY!!

The ant works hard
in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant
is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving..

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN,
and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper
next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears
on Oprah
with the grasshopper
and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not EasyBeing Green ...'

Occupy the Anthill stages
a demonstration in front of the ant's
house where the news stations film the SEIU group singing, We shall overcome.

Then Rev Al Sharpton's assistant
has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper
while he damns the ants. The Reverend Al can not attend as he has contractual commitments to appear on his MSNBC show for which he is paid over two million dollars a year to complain that rich people do not care.

President Obama condemns the ant
and blames
President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the
Pope
for the grasshopper's
plight….

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid
exclaim in an interview on The View
that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper ,
and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts
the Economic Equity &
Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of
the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number
of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar
and given to the grasshopper .

The story ends as we see the grasshopper
and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken
over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses
bringing the rest
of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Be careful how you vote in 2016.

I've sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant
not a grasshopper !

Make sure that you pass
this on to other ants .

Don't bother sending
it on to any grasshoppers
because they wouldn't
understand it, anyway

Tea Party Community, Tea Party Community 51 Comments [1/20/2015 4:19:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 18
Submitted By: Dominic McPherson

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Hasan Prishtina

Judging by the way that states that contribute to the federal budget vote against those that take, you must be a grasshopper.

1/20/2015 4:23:34 AM

Creedence Leonore Gielgud

It took a whole community of the retards to write this.

1/20/2015 4:39:28 AM

Mister Spak

The fundie version:
Cut taxes on the grasshopper so the ant has to pay for schools roads police prisons 10 billion$ nuclear carriers.
Soon the ants have nothing left while the grasshopper gets all the benefits.

MORAL OF TE STORY:
Grasshoppers make up self serving shit and fundies believe it.

1/20/2015 5:03:14 AM

Goomy pls

Except in this case it's the grasshoppers who are working hard and the ants who are stuffing themselves silly with food.

Also, Woody Allen popularised a third version, in which the ant complains of back pain during the winter.

1/20/2015 5:04:15 AM

Mad_Jester

Oh look, the Tea Party doesn't actually understand how wealth disparity happens, and happily parrot the 1%'s condemnation of 'moochers'. Quel surprise.

I wonder if they'll ever realize that they're not John Fucking Galt. (Or that John Galt is nobody for a decent human to emulate.)

1/20/2015 5:08:20 AM

pip

Less than 100 people own half of the worlds wealth. Do you guys have a problem with that?

1/20/2015 5:26:06 AM

Canadiest

Wow!
You really squeezed a lot of bullshit in there.

Oh, Tea Party Community, that's your job.

You people are a prime example of the folly of blind faith over reason.
Under Obamas administration your taxes have gone down. Millionaires get on stage at your rallies and tell you how they feel for you pensioners and veterans, while they're trying to cut your benefits and YOU FALL FOR IT!

Your heroes are people who don't pay their taxes or land fees and spoiled subsidized inheritors.

1/20/2015 5:48:50 AM

commonbloodysense

These people claimed Winston Churchill was a communist because he supported gun control.

I stopped listening to them after that. They get more attention than they deserve.

1/20/2015 6:00:37 AM

creativerealms

Just ignore the fact that the tea party consists mainly of rich people who never worked a day in their life and are rich due to the hard work of others.

1/20/2015 6:18:18 AM

OHP

As stupid as the point of all this is I must confess that I got a small chuckle out of the bit with Kermit.

1/20/2015 6:52:43 AM

JeanP

Most of the people needing welfare were themselves "ants" who happened to have an accident - injuries, diseases, loss of job or just plain "act of God."

1/20/2015 7:13:37 AM

Doubting Thomas

But don't forget, the Tea Party isn't one bit racist.

1/20/2015 7:18:05 AM

Nemo

@Mad Jester,

Don't bother. If anything, they'd be Ellis Wyatt (who agrees with Galt et al entirely, he's just not one of Rand's megageniuses and so he suffers for it), but nobody gets into Objectivism because they imagine themselves to be Ellis Wyatt.

1/20/2015 7:58:46 AM

Anon-e-moose

Moral II:

The Church of England have no problem with the National Health Service and the Welfare State.

They also readily & openly admit that much of the Bible is purely metaphor & fable: as in not to be taken literally.

The C-of-E also readily admit that they can't go against the tide of changing public opinion. Thus their bishops & archbishops in the House of Lords dropping their opposition to same-sex marriage a couple of years ago.

They're still here.







Change, or die.

1/20/2015 8:04:09 AM

Milza

It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched of his girlfriend and watched TV.

Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a race car.

1/20/2015 8:30:45 AM

rubber chicken

We'll just ignore the fact that the ant is doing all of this work to ensure the survival of a Queen and is considered totally expendable by the colony, shall we ?

1/20/2015 8:47:55 AM

creativerealms

The tea party doesn't as they are the ant queens.

1/20/2015 8:53:18 AM

dionysus

You missed this part:

It is discovered that the ants have been delegating the work of finding food to the grasshoppers and paying the grasshoppers a crumb per slice of bread's worth of food they collect. The grasshoppers simply want more of the slice of bread that they produced for the ants. But the ants claim that giving the grasshoppers a fairer share will collapse the food economy and the only fair way is to give the ants more slices so that more crumbs trickle down to the grasshoppers. Of course, what nobody is supposed to know is that the crumbs don't trickle down and the ants aren't going to pay any more than they need to pay. And when more food goes to the ants, less of it is available to give to teacher termites and construction caterpillars so the forest infrastructure is reduced to dangerous conditions. Just like in Kansas.

Oh, and that last sentence? That wasn't an analogy or a story. The REAL Kansas is having issues with infrastructure thanks to Tea Party programs.

1/20/2015 9:23:44 AM

Fifth Dentist

How it really went down:

The Grasshopper brothers inherited billions of dollars from Grandpappy Koch Grasshopper. They use the billions they did nothing to earn to purchase oil companies and other businesses. They squeeze every dime of profit possible out of those businesses by cutting payroll to the bone and ignoring environmental and safety regulations.
Whenever they cause a shit load of damage to the environment, they write a check to a few friends in in the Grasshopper Oligarchs Party and the fines are reduced to almost nothing.
Meanwhile, the ant has worked his whole life, put himself through college, been an efficient and valuable employee, raised a family and is due to retire in peace in the little anthill he bought on a 30-year mortgage and has finally paid for.
The Grasshopper brothers see the ant's retirement fund and Social Security and wish they had that money, too. Never mind that the ant has put a lifetime into playing by the rules and doing what was right.
The Grasshoppers start denouncing the ant as a "taker" who is just mooching off of everyone else's hard work. Why, they ask, should he receive a nice pension and be able to afford heat and good food, when the younger ants just starting out will never have those things?
They convince their friends in Congress to start cutting the older ant's Social Security, and some of their friends buy the ant's former employer; they raid the pension and retirement plans and run the business into the ground. Then they fire the workers and move production overseas where poor ants will do the work for much less money in hazardous conditions and with no concern for the environment.
With the company's retirement plans sucked into the pockets of the Grasshopper brothers, the federal government that the they hate so much will have to pick up the obligations to pay out the ant's retirement.
This allows the Grasshopper brothers to bitch and moan about how the government is wasting money paying freeloaders like the ant.
With all the money in the hands of the Grasshopper brothers and their friends, and no jobs because they've all been sent overseas, the economy grinds to a halt because none of the middle- and lower-class ants have any money to spend.
The Grasshopper brothers demand a big tax cut for themselves so they can create jobs.

The end.

1/20/2015 9:27:02 AM

i-suck-at-making-username

@Goomy pls And how do you think the ant got the food in the first place? Do you think it all just dropped in its lap? If so, you are profoundly ignorant of how wealth is actually created (hint: it isn't created by grasshoppers, and without the ants the grasshoppers would be dead rather quickly.)

@dionysus Your metaphor fails rather quickly. The ants knew where to find the food in the first place, and the grasshoppers only collected it, thus the ants deserve the majority of the profits. You want to try to start a business with only your oh-so-precious workers and nobody who actually understands the industry to organize them? Go ahead, I'll be in a laughing fit when I hear of its collapse.

1/20/2015 10:24:00 AM

StoneSpiral

The only way the new version would reflect reality is if the ant got his supplies and comfort off the underpaid labors of the grasshopper.

1/20/2015 10:34:27 AM

Yossarian Lives

Because all people who are wealthy got there through hard labour, there are no wealthy people who were born into privilege.

The grasshopper sounds more like an amoral entrepreneurial capitalist that earns their wealth off the hard labour of the employees with little respect for their working conditions, only profit. The grasshopper skrimps and saves whenever possible, irregardless of the impacts, encouraging the blame on too high wages for the ants, who don't do enough to earn their keep. These philanthropic ants play along, as it is the grasshoppers, not those of a low standing, that can create jobs, so the blame must like with the red ants that come over and drive down wages, as well as regulations that force the employers to make redundancies. Because, as we all know, these ants are the most useless of commodity; replacements are plentiful! [/raggytrouseredphilanthropist]

1/20/2015 11:02:07 AM

Scratch

That was so incredibly stupid I think I'm actually down a few braincells.

1/20/2015 11:02:09 AM

Newfaceofrev

Who wants to bet that the author forgot themselves momentarily and started writing niggers before they caught themselves and replaced it with grasshoppers on at least one occasion?

1/20/2015 11:12:57 AM

Skyknight

@Making-Username: In which case, I'd like to see how you respond to worker-owned, and occasionally worker-directed, businesses (e.g. Bob's Red Mill, the John Lewis stores in Britain, Der Spiegel). Granted they were often founded by specific individuals, but passing command to the rank-and-file doesn't seem to have caused any wreckage to speak of.

And I'm curious how little effort you think collection/physical work in general actually requires. The idea is to reward effort, not merely genius.

1/20/2015 11:52:19 AM

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